My good people, it has been quite a while since I last published a post. I can't believe that my last post was in 2016. The years have rolled by so fast. Time really is fleeting. I should do blogs more often. I'll try to be consistent even if it is just to say hi. Anyway, I hope the dust from the blog does not give you a cold, if it does, just see medical advice.
Anyway, this happens to be one of those nights that I find myself not sleepy.This should be a concern given I have work in the morning. Damn you Monday. I am officially joining Garfield in cancelling Mondays. Instead of watching a series, this is one of those very rare nights where I've had moments of self-reflection (in actual sense it's been hours of self-reflection). I rarely have these moments. I am a pretty chilled guy who never has much going on in my mind (you decide whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.) We just had the century's longest blood moon so I guess my mind is having the same.
In this period of self-reflection I have found myself thinking a lot about failure, resilience and not giving up. There are many things that we search for in life. It could be happiness, success, wealth, peace and many other things. The journey towards achieving our desires is never easy for the most part. We struggle and fail. Sometimes once, sometimes so many times that we even lose count.
In order to achieve our desires and our goals, in order to survive and conquer this treacherous journey to fulfillment, I have learnt that there are two main things that are very important:
1. Belief in yourself
2. The resilience keep trying no matter how many times you fail.
These two things combined can push you to unimaginable heights. As long as you believe in yourself and have the desire to achieve what it is that you want to achieve, you will be able to push on. However, once that belief is lost, then the strength and energy to go on is lost. Self-belief and resilience go hand in hand just like Kenya Power blackouts and rain.
There is this series that I watched with my sister. It is called "The Good Doctor." The show has an English version and a Korean version. The Korean version is the original and since we prefer original stuff, we watched the Korean version (it has English subtitles). This series is about a doctor living with autism. His dream was to be a doctor and he had to work extremely hard to be a doctor. He had to overcome the challenges he had which were not few. He had many skeptics who did not believe that he could be a competent doctor and a surgeon. As a matter of fact, his attending doctor did not believe that he was fit to be a surgeon. At one point, he recommended that he moved from the pediatric department to diagnostics because he was incredible at diagnosing illnesses but not as good at surgery and he always feared that he was an operation away from a catastrophic error. The doctor (he was called Park) refused to move. He said that his dream was to be a surgeon and he would get to that goal no matter what. Seeing Dr. Park's resilience and commitment to his cause and desire to be a doctor, his attending gave him the benefit of the doubt and told him that for him to be respected and accepted as a doctor, Dr. Park would have to surpass him in his work. With this challenge, Dr. Park pushed on and eventually became a doctor.
In my own life (which hasn't been that long) there are moments where I have had to show resilience and persistence to achieve the goals that I had set out for myself. I have achieved some goals and I continue to struggle and persist so as to achieve others. When I was doing my Masters degree dissertation, I had to submit my research proposal three times before passing and continuing to carry out the proposed research. I faced the panel first time and was told that it wasn't good enough, that I needed to re-do it and submit it again. I went back and did it and went to the panel a second time and still it wasn't good enough. Again I tried a third time and thankfully I passed and proceeded to carry out research and present my findings. I ended up being the only one graduating in my Masters class not because I was smarter than everyone else but because I kept trying despite being sent back. I did not lose the faith that I had in myself and I did not give up. I kept at it again and again until I succeeded.
The masters story is one where I have succeeded. There are many that others that I am still struggling with. One that is my commitment to going to the gym and losing weight. This is one massive battle that I have had for many many years. There was a point last year that I was doing really well. I lost 10kgs in just under 3 months. I was almost averaging a kg a week. Things were going really well. I travelled home for like two weeks and told myself that I am on a short break then I will resume. Long story short, I am still on my break. I have honestly been meaning to go back to the gym but this is a classic case of the spirit being willing but the body is weak. I am not giving up on this cause despite the maaany times I have attempted to go back the gym. Hopefully by the end of the year I will have positive news to report. Thankfully, I have someone by my side who is a massive cheerleader and she keeps nudging me to head back to the gym (I should point out that they are incredibly sharp nudges). She had also nudged me to get back to blogging and here we are, aren't we? Maybe, just maybe, we'll have something to report come December as a result of these nudges. Can I hear an Amen? Thank you for the loud Amen at the back (of course it is the nudge giver shouting the largest Amen. This is a prayer item my friends)
As I shut down my computer so that I head to bed where I hope I will be able to get some sleep (I am seriously running the risk of being a zombie tomorrow), I just want to remind you to keep at it. Whatever it is that you are reaching for, keep going, keep jumping, keep trying. Give it one more try and if it doesn't work, try again. If you are trying to make amends for something you did wrong, keep trying to fix it. Don't give up. If it is an exam you need to resit, study for it and resit it. If it is a promotion you are eyeing, keep working towards it. If there is that girl you're trying to make laugh but she doesn't get any of your jokes, don't give up. Google is your friend. Keep believing in yourself even when others seem to lose faith in you, remind yourself that you can do this. There are some things that I can't seem to get right but I choose to work to get it right and I am get closer and better. I am working to be a better son, a better brother, a better boyfriend, a better colleague, a better friend, a better student. Sometimes I fail and disappoint the people I love and it is hard especially when you see the effort they have put to raise you, support you and lift you to where you are and when I fail them I have learnt to apologize and work towards fixing it and making them proud of me and proud to be associated with me. Good thing is, they also lift me up when I am down and they do not trample on me and I am eternally grateful for that. So keep trying and never stop believing in yourself. The number of times you have failed does not define you. Keep at it until you get it right.
I just thought I should share those nuggets of wisdom with you since I cannot eat them as I have a December target from the gym remember?
