I had a feeling that this is going to be a head turner. For some strange, unexplained reason, people have an urge to open any link that has the word relationship on it. Incredibly, many people generally assume that it's ladies who do it but today I am going to be a whistleblower (ladies you can thank me later) After this small whistleblowing escapade, I shall have to find myself a plane to Switzerland and hijack it because my life is going to be in significant danger. An Ethiopian Airlines preferably. Btw, that Ethiopian Airlines co-pilot who hijacked the plane, what was/is wrong with him? I am trying not to digress but couldnt he just land in Rome then take a train to Geneva and then ask for asylum? That makes sense to me. I find the whole thing funny though.
Men are the worst! They are the real silent readers just ask one @Rutovski, in fact, a good number have notebooks with them as they read these relationship articles, preparing mwakenyas because the struggle to woo a lady is real. It is hard I tell you. Difficult! I can hear the men shouting "PREACH BROTHER!" Preach I shall. Ladies you are very complicated creatures. Ask me why? For so many reasons, for instance, you guys like, scratch that, LOOOOVE Valentines day, I mean, who does that? Valentine was a Saint! Ideally we should all be going to church on February 14th but Nooooooo, you wouldnt have that, rather than we men worrying about the slight financial matter that would be offerings for that Sunday we have to step up to the plate (I have never got that, why would you step up to the plate yet you eat from there? Talk of stepping where you eat. I mean we have stools and ladders for stepping up) and take people to sijui The Tribe Hotel and get dresses and buy Gulliyan (did I spell that correctly?) and perfumes and all other things that are considered romantic, we have to do all this without even giving thought to the fact that financial scars from Njaanuary had barely left us. On that note, my fellow men, if you did not get an advance on your salary for Valentines, I feel you. I empathise, not sympathise, with you. It is going to be a tough 10 days for you till end month. I would have asked you to buckle up and brace yourself but most probably you'd need to sell the belt and buckle just to get by.
Anyway, despite this obvious flaw that is the love for Valentine's day, we still love you ladies to the extent of getting into a relationship with you guys. Last night I found myself thinking, actually no, I wasnt thinking, it just hit me! Like for real it hit me! Hit me to the extent of me saying I must write a blog about it. The main building block in a relationship is friendship. That is the main thing. After that thought hit me is when I started thinking. I thought about my friends. Especially those whom we've been friends for a quite a while and I thought about what we've gone through. For a good number of them, the friendship has perservered despite the number of conflicts...and fights that we have had over time. One Julius Amdany literally forced me into early retirement in high school football. In form three, during an inter-class game between my class and his, as I was doing my thing, shining as I mesmerized defenders who just lay sprawling on the ground, well-beaten, the guy came from nowhere and tackled me from behind. A career threatening injury it was. I sustained ligament damages on my knee that forced me to put on knee-support for the rest of the year (that was in first term mark you), however, that did not deter me! Like the mythical phoenix, I rose from the ashes. As soon as I was mobile again, I reinvented myself and became the class goalkeeper. I was pretty good I must say, a much better improvement to the error prone Allan Ronoh who had been trying to hold the fort. My stint as goalie was to be short-lived though because barely a year later, in form four, first term, the same Julius Drog Amdany, decided to break my hand. Another inter-class game, there was a foul on one of their players in the D, enter Julius Drog Amdany to take the penalty, he drove it to the right hand side of the goal and a mighty dive from yours truly ensured the ball couldnt get in but it was a stinging shot! I felt a shot of pain going through my body, the medical team came on and just pulled my wrist and i was ready to get back on the pitch. It was too painful though. To cut a long story short, he broke my hand. That officially led to my retirement as a high-school football player. My class was devastated, losing such a big player! Massive massive loss. Needless to say, they never reached their great heights since my retirement.
What am I saying? I am saying that despite this deliberate attack on my career by the guy, Julius and I are really good friends. Many other stories, dont get me started on one Daniel Okuku, the number of fights I have had with this guy but coz we are friends we always sort out our issues because that is what friends do. For the sake of gender equality (or is it equity? Pick whichever floats your boat) let me use a few lady examples as well. Now there is this Jackylne Njeri the number of fights and silent treatments I have got from her only God knows. Then there is one Daisy Jeruto who we've had conflicts with (though mostly I was the bad one). I very nearly forgot about one Liza Maru. This lady is pure fire! My entire high school life was an argument with her. Good times though. Real good times. It was like a dissing warfare with her and the rest of our classmates being the audience. Many times it got too personal to the extent of other guys telling us "Yo guys thats too much" but we always forgave and we remain good friends.
Why have I said all this? Well, because many times when I hear the way relationships have ended, its because guys did not start out as friends. The relationship is used as a means to an end. It is very important that in your relationship you guys are friends. This has really helped me out in my relationship with the one and only, the lovely, the beautiful,the cheerful, the gorgeous, have I said beautiful? If I did not, let me say, the beautiful Jacqueline Komen. Like every other relationship, we've had our fights, differences, conflicts (some really ugly) but the fact that we are friends with each other helps us to come to an amicable agreement (some take weeks, others minutes). I am not saying I have the perfect relationship but so far friendship has played a major role in what we do and I can say that I am proud of what I have.
Friendship is a core value not only in romantic relationships (if I may call it so) but in all sorts of relationships. Relationships with your parents, personally, I consider my parents my friends and they are a blessing to me and my siblings. My brother and my sister are my friends, my classmates, colleagues, even in business. Who you deal with should ideally be your friends. I know there is a perception that people shouldnt do business with their friends but business is a matter of trust and if you cant trust your friend, who can you trust?
The challenge for the day is to be friends with those around you. The Bible (I must always leave you guys with a Bible verse at least) in Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
The Bible in that verse tells us to leave at peace with everyone in as far as it depends on us and I believe being friends with everyone goes a long way in living at peace with everyone. Have a blessed and friendful day (if that even exists)
PS: I am not bragging or anything, but during Valentine's day, I still had a FIFA tournament. Jelous much guys? How I did it is topic for a whole other blog post.
Tuesday 18 February 2014
Tuesday 11 February 2014
Bus Preachers. Sheer guts
11th February, 2014. Valentine's day is just 3 days away. I am sure all my lady readers have the countdown on your fingertips, right up to the second. I, on the other hand, and I believe that I speak for all men when I say this, am utterly terrified. Why did Valentine's day have to come on a Friday this year. Its a black Friday out here I tell you. Black Friday! We have nowhere to run to. If we go missing on Friday, the ladies have an extra two days to catch us. Do you realize how long two days are for a motivated woman? I dont even want to think about it. It just dawned on me, my Valentine is going to read this post. You may think that I am getting myself in hot water but actually it is a strategy. Okay, more of a gamble. You see, using this approach that I have taken, there are two things invloved (Please use Basket Mouth's accent while reading this part, thank you). One is that my dear, sweet Valentine's date (who is actually my girlfriend) will get mad that I am not a fan of Valentine's and she will be so mad that she will not talk to me till Monday, 16th February 2014 when she will have missed me too much, the other one, which is less likely, in fact chances are tending towards zero, is that my dear, sweet, loving, caring, girlfriend is going to feel my plight and understand the trouble and anguish that this Valentine's day causes us men and that she is going to sit me down and smother me with loving and kind words such as "No honey, you need not take me to dinner, your presence fills my appetite." and "Baby, you dont have to take out your wallet, I know you have been saving for Fifa 14, dont lose focus of the goal my sweet. Save money, take me to Altona's." (For my international audience, Altona's is a fast food chain in Kenya. It isnt a franchise though and its quite cheap). That would be music to my ears. Gentlemen, if you get a girlfriend like that, wife her now and thank me later. She is the epitome of understanding and all good things. Either that or your FIFA 14 is going to get broken to pieces, just like you broke her heart by not treating her on Valentine's day. All this can be avoided though, we can always hide our FIFA 14 CD's. We could come up with like a joint account or something. A safe of sorts where we stash our Fifa 14's. Anyway, enough of this Valentine's dillemma. Thats not what brought us here.
So today while heading to work, I boarded one of those buses which happened to have a bus preacher. I got to say, those guys have guts. It is not easy to stand in a bus and preach to a bunch of strangers. Not just strangers, but skeptics. Skeptics are there in plenty. You see, pastors have it easier because the congregation have come to church for a reason, the congregation is united in one goal, which is to hear the word. While preaching, they are not invading in your space or anything because you took yourself to church voluntarily. Bus preachers on the other hand take themselves to you. You did not ask them to come or ask them to speak. As a matter of fact, it is them who force you to listen to them. They are usually really loud. I remember I was trying to read an article on my phone but I just couldnt concentrate. I couldnt. I didnt have my earphones so I couldnt drown myself in music or Maina and King'ang'i in the morning. I was left with this loud preacher. I had no other option. So I put my phone in my pocket and listened to what he was saying, okay not really listening but more of hearing words because I was in a world of thoughts. At one point though, I found myself thinking like the Christian that I am and I couldnt help but smile in admiration. I mean, the guts that this preacher had is no ordinary guts. I am a pretty confident person, if I could say so myself. That is like one of my outstanding attributes that attracted my girlfriend to me (because of confidence I have this whole Valentine's dillema. Darn you Mr. Confidence) have I told you that she's a beauty? My goodness she is. A gift from God. Whenever I look at her and stare at her immense beauty I tell myself "When God took a rest on the 7th day, he was thinking of an action plan on how to create her." If you doubt what I am saying just ask @capoKenn, @NewnexBrian or @honor_ronoh on twitter. They will say what I have said is true beyond any reasonable doubt. Now look at all the ladies going "Awwwwwwh", thank you ladies, I am a sweet guy. Anyway, what was I saying, see how thinking about her just made me go blank. She shouldnt blame me if I forget about Valentine's day because when I think of her nothing else occupies my mind. Sharp thinking is also another thing that attracted her to me.
Where was I? Oh yes, I am a pretty confident guy but I am not really sure I have the guts to preach in a bus. I mean there are hecklers in there. People would outrightly put you off and tell you to shut up. In this day and age the number of unbelievers is really high, especially those unbelievers who are vocal about it. Just yesterday I was listening to Larry Asego on classic 105 Overdrive and the topic was whether Christianity is relevant in modern day Kenya. He was asking whether churches are really necessary or whether they should be converted into "More important things" such as schools or clinics. Really sad. Listening to that yesterday and today looking at that bus preacher preaching God's word, reading the Bible to us and breaking into a song of praise really challenged my and should be a challenge to all the Christians out here. The Bible in Mark 16:15 says "And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature." It is an order to us Christians to preach the gospel of Christ and to take it to others. Making it known to guys and to do this, for me to be able to stand on a bus and preach I will most definitely have to grow a pair. For us it is just a matter of hearing the call and heeding it, like in Isaiah 6:8 And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” That is the challenge that I got today from that bus preacher. Growing a pair and actually proclaiming your stand. Declaring that you are on the Lord's side and asking guys to join you.Sometimes all it takes is some guts and you will have done something good. Thats all it takes. That is the challenge.
Anyway, before I leave you to ponder, I have to revisit this issue that rears its head every 14th of February each and every year, consistently, without having any regard for the gentlemen who have barely recovered from Njaanuary (for the international audience, Njaa means hunger, I hope so see what I did there). As a man, I believe it is my duty to deliver the binding agreement that was reached upon by TNOBAH, The National Association of Boyfriends and Husbands. In a press release dated Monday, 10th February, 2014.
"Dear Girlfriends, Wives and side chicks, due to certain circumstances beyond our control such as the increase in parking fee from Kes 140/- to Kes 300/-, the sudden appearance of drought in Turkana again, The looming impeachment of Embu Governor, The increase in NSSF rates, the frequent blackouts, Al-Shabab strolling through and having coffee at our airports etc we shall neither be taking part nor be available during this year's Valentine Day Celebration. Our country needs prayers and fasting and all men have agreed to engage in fasting and prayers through February 12th to 16th 2014. We humbly advice you to visit your parents and other family members to spend Valentine's day with them. After all, they are loved ones as well. We wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day celebration in advance. We will talk to you on the 16th of Feb, 2014. Thanks for your usual cooperation.
Signed
National Association of Boyfriends and Husbands.
And on that bombshell, do have yourself a lovely and blessed day. And to all gentlemen during this trying period, take heart. Together we will overcome. Whatever you do to spoil your lady, remember 1st Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
So today while heading to work, I boarded one of those buses which happened to have a bus preacher. I got to say, those guys have guts. It is not easy to stand in a bus and preach to a bunch of strangers. Not just strangers, but skeptics. Skeptics are there in plenty. You see, pastors have it easier because the congregation have come to church for a reason, the congregation is united in one goal, which is to hear the word. While preaching, they are not invading in your space or anything because you took yourself to church voluntarily. Bus preachers on the other hand take themselves to you. You did not ask them to come or ask them to speak. As a matter of fact, it is them who force you to listen to them. They are usually really loud. I remember I was trying to read an article on my phone but I just couldnt concentrate. I couldnt. I didnt have my earphones so I couldnt drown myself in music or Maina and King'ang'i in the morning. I was left with this loud preacher. I had no other option. So I put my phone in my pocket and listened to what he was saying, okay not really listening but more of hearing words because I was in a world of thoughts. At one point though, I found myself thinking like the Christian that I am and I couldnt help but smile in admiration. I mean, the guts that this preacher had is no ordinary guts. I am a pretty confident person, if I could say so myself. That is like one of my outstanding attributes that attracted my girlfriend to me (because of confidence I have this whole Valentine's dillema. Darn you Mr. Confidence) have I told you that she's a beauty? My goodness she is. A gift from God. Whenever I look at her and stare at her immense beauty I tell myself "When God took a rest on the 7th day, he was thinking of an action plan on how to create her." If you doubt what I am saying just ask @capoKenn, @NewnexBrian or @honor_ronoh on twitter. They will say what I have said is true beyond any reasonable doubt. Now look at all the ladies going "Awwwwwwh", thank you ladies, I am a sweet guy. Anyway, what was I saying, see how thinking about her just made me go blank. She shouldnt blame me if I forget about Valentine's day because when I think of her nothing else occupies my mind. Sharp thinking is also another thing that attracted her to me.
Where was I? Oh yes, I am a pretty confident guy but I am not really sure I have the guts to preach in a bus. I mean there are hecklers in there. People would outrightly put you off and tell you to shut up. In this day and age the number of unbelievers is really high, especially those unbelievers who are vocal about it. Just yesterday I was listening to Larry Asego on classic 105 Overdrive and the topic was whether Christianity is relevant in modern day Kenya. He was asking whether churches are really necessary or whether they should be converted into "More important things" such as schools or clinics. Really sad. Listening to that yesterday and today looking at that bus preacher preaching God's word, reading the Bible to us and breaking into a song of praise really challenged my and should be a challenge to all the Christians out here. The Bible in Mark 16:15 says "And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature." It is an order to us Christians to preach the gospel of Christ and to take it to others. Making it known to guys and to do this, for me to be able to stand on a bus and preach I will most definitely have to grow a pair. For us it is just a matter of hearing the call and heeding it, like in Isaiah 6:8 And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” That is the challenge that I got today from that bus preacher. Growing a pair and actually proclaiming your stand. Declaring that you are on the Lord's side and asking guys to join you.Sometimes all it takes is some guts and you will have done something good. Thats all it takes. That is the challenge.
Anyway, before I leave you to ponder, I have to revisit this issue that rears its head every 14th of February each and every year, consistently, without having any regard for the gentlemen who have barely recovered from Njaanuary (for the international audience, Njaa means hunger, I hope so see what I did there). As a man, I believe it is my duty to deliver the binding agreement that was reached upon by TNOBAH, The National Association of Boyfriends and Husbands. In a press release dated Monday, 10th February, 2014.
"Dear Girlfriends, Wives and side chicks, due to certain circumstances beyond our control such as the increase in parking fee from Kes 140/- to Kes 300/-, the sudden appearance of drought in Turkana again, The looming impeachment of Embu Governor, The increase in NSSF rates, the frequent blackouts, Al-Shabab strolling through and having coffee at our airports etc we shall neither be taking part nor be available during this year's Valentine Day Celebration. Our country needs prayers and fasting and all men have agreed to engage in fasting and prayers through February 12th to 16th 2014. We humbly advice you to visit your parents and other family members to spend Valentine's day with them. After all, they are loved ones as well. We wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day celebration in advance. We will talk to you on the 16th of Feb, 2014. Thanks for your usual cooperation.
Signed
National Association of Boyfriends and Husbands.
And on that bombshell, do have yourself a lovely and blessed day. And to all gentlemen during this trying period, take heart. Together we will overcome. Whatever you do to spoil your lady, remember 1st Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
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