Well, well, well. Its the eve of August. Pretty exciting right? okay well, maybe cold. Being on a break from school is very refreshing and I intend to stay away from school stuff till I get back. This break might be doing some damage to me though. The amount of blankness that is in my mind is riveting, see? I don't even know whether I've used the word riveting correctly but I wont remove it. At least it makes me look intelligent and my work may be perceived to be very coherent. Now, before you accuse me of being verbose, I shall stop bombarding you with bombastic words but if you cannot comprehend the ingenuity of my post, please don't blame yourself. Blame my rigorous academic pedagogy and my linguistic prowess. okay seriously I better stop now before I make you question your entire academic journey and cause you to demand a refund of your fees. So, remind me what I was talking about. Oh yes, the eve of August. Yes 1st August will mark eight months since I asked a certain young lady to go out with me as I decided to venture in this quest of love. A BEAUTIFUL lady if I may add. Mark you, I'm using the word beautiful just to be modest. I don't want some of you thinking that I brag but yes, she is quite a catch. For some reason, when I asked her, she said yes. Flabbergasted? Don't be. Actually, you shouldn't be. I mean who wouldn't say yes to yours truly?
I don't know why I told you all that, I just felt like sharing, to create a bond with you but that's that. Let me go to what has brought you here this fine evening (or day, depending on your time zone).
Politics, politics, politics. This thing, this animal that rears its head every day. It basically is our news. Politics here, politics there. Jubillee and CORD, the main subjects. While the elections were done with like 5 months ago, bitterness is still rife in this great nation of ours. Guys are insulting each other like everywhere especially in the social media. Tribal wars or if I may say tribal cyber wars are there all over. While you may say, "But that is how our nation is, it is in our DNA" and other feeble attempts to justify this nasty thing, I think and I truly believe that this is a source of concern for me especially.
You see, in facebook, I am in a group formed by guys who I was with in high school, as a matter of fact, the founders of a group are guys who were behind me ie they are younger than me and the group was created to "Make A Difference." Of course, having being in a national school (though private). No, sorry, let me rephrase that. Having been to the BEST high school in this country, ie school number one (check this year's results, the school that led) we have people from all corners of the country and from various communities, both male and female (the beauty is that it is a mixed school). As a result, this group is very diverse, guys have different ideologies support different people. Is having diversity wrong? absolutely not!! as a matter of fact, it is very good. With diversity comes harmony, and unity, and integration and eventually development. Prior to the elections, stuff were good, guys were interacting very well and I thought "Yes, this is how it should be. This is MY generation, the way we are doing, in the next couple of elections we will be issue based" I had hope. I felt great. Then came the elections. Of course we all know that the elections were disputed in court and the court decided. The opposition may not have been satisfied but the elected government took office. That done, essentially, we were supposed to move on and everything but apparently that hasn't happened. After the elections I saw guys going back to the tribal caves, saying how they will reproduce more, how this is a government of only two tribes (to some extent it is a point looking at the cabinet appointments) and even further of guys supporting revolutions. Egyptian style! some of these guys calling for revolutions are barely out of high school. I don't think they voted, they haven't started university but here they are calling for a revolution. That is a course of concern for me. If guys our age, guys who are enlightened. Guys of the social media age are meant to be beyond this. But if we have young guys our age having all tribal connotations and insulting each other it is a course of concern. I mean, these are guys who studied with you, you interacted together, played ball together, were punished together, our parents struggled to pay the fees (the school is fairly pricy) you learnt together but guys still go back to the tribal shells and caves. It is a concern when it is our generation doing that.
I admit. The older generation (our parents' generation) are fairly tribal but we should not blame them. It all started with multiparty politics. When section 2A was repealed (I hope I have my history right) political parties were formed to protect each other's community. This was seen up to these past elections. URP, TNA, ODM, name them they were tribal based. Am I saying that the constitution should be amended to remove these political parties, maybe I am, and maybe I am not. What I am saying is that we should look beyond our tribes when it comes to such decisions. We should have policies, clear and well thought out, well-defined structure. Have efficient systems. These are what we should be looking at and calling for, not being agents of propaganda here and there. You just hear something and go about saying without thinking about this "Oooo Jubillee this, Ooooo CORD that.." and blaming members of a particular community for something. We got to grow beyond that. Take the recent teachers strike for instance. It is the Jubillee government. You hear guys saying, "Oooo tribe X (to avoid mentioning tribes) are stealing our money, tribe Y tumeibiwa" yet, the teachers were all over the counry. Its not like teachers from central were paid while those from Nyanza were not paid. It was national, yet from that people were spreading propaganda everywhere alienating each other on the basis of our tribes. Having useless politicking if I may say.
All in all, I am trying to say that we should look beyond our tribes. Lets think first before saying stuff. Unite together and argue on ideas not on people and their names. You see, ideas develop the nation, tribal arguments bring bitterness.
Let me explain it this way. With tribes, it brings a sense of belonging. It has a sense of belonging. Therefore, using tribes it brings a sense of victimization to those who lost. "We lost as a community" it brings bitterness and you tend to go deeper within yourself as a community so as to win. However, with ideas, you may improve each other and borrow from each other. Matters to do with belonging are very close to the heart and that explains the tragic post election violence.
Violence, in my view could be avoided if we focus on ideas and selling the ideas to everyone, not just "My people". That is why I get very concerned when I see young people, oozing with talent, bright people using tribal arguments coz we are the change that we want. It starts with us.
Michael Jackson was very insightful when he sang Man in the mirror.
In the chorus, he sang
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
Its true. for us to make that change, it starts with us, within us. Break away from the useless politicking of tribes and lets look at issues and not just criticize, but also come up with solutions.
God bless y'all
Wednesday, 31 July 2013
Wednesday, 27 February 2013
Street Children: They are also God's children
So this month of February is finally coming to a close. I am quite sure that a good number of my male friends are delighted to see the end month finally arriving. If you wanted to get the real meaning of living hand to mouth, you should have looked for some of my friends. The damage that was done to them was more than material. Wallets were emptied on February the 14th, the wallets were never the same again. Looking through some of my friends wallets you just find business cards to show for their hustles in life. Any currency that was stumbled upon disappeared as fast as it came around. Ladies, please next year, can you just take Valentines day to be like any other day? Just wear red and be contented with it. Please no more suffering. Well, this was the plight of many of my male colleagues. I, on the other hand, am proud to say that I escaped unscathed and unscalped. For the nineteenth year in a row!!!! Well, last year I was stood up but oooh well, that was one of the cases where you wake up on the fifteenth of February and your broken ego is soothed by the sight of currency in your wallet. Anyway, where was I? Yes, for the 19th time I escaped the horror of Valentines day. That must be a record right? Anyone with the number of the Guiness Book of Records, anyone? Guys I know you have, just because Ulitobokwa (that means, pierced or rather those who were drained financially to my international audience) doesnt mean you have to do this. C'mon, help a brother out.
I see some of you are wondering "How does he manage to do that at such a consistent level?" I hate to brag, but I must say, I am the Ryan Giggs of escaping Valentines day. I should get a title for that. Something like, Daniel Kalya, the Valentines Avoider! Stop frowning, its a work in progress can Valentines Vanisher work? Naaah. I'm still working on it, chillax mayne dont pressure me. This is the Valentines Exceptionee at work. Drat! my creative muse is hiding from me. Come out come out wherever you are. I'll get you someday.
To continue with my brag. Its not that I dont care for my girlfriend. Our love goes beyond Valentines Day (Thats the excuse I used and guess what, it worked. All ye men must be hating me right now) and to add on to that, I delegated the Valentines day dinner to some one else. For once the friend zone did me some good (I so hope he doesnt see this coz he will definately demand for a refund). While ye men were busy sweating over the bill and the 22K champaigne, I was happy that Manchester United managed to get out of the Santiago Bernabeau with a point and an away goal. You see, for most of you Feb is Valentines month, for me it is Champions League month and for the sake of my friend one Ken Kiptoo and other Chelsea fans, EUROPA month. I just felt pain writing that. Lemme get a barf bag.
Anyway, enough small talk. Now today as I was heading from the gym. Why the surprise and the shocked faces? Yes, I do gym. I actually started last week. You see, getting home to mama's cooking made my already pronounced belly start to shout so I saw it fit to hit the gym. And no, there arent visible changes yet. Anyway, as I was leaving the gym today, I was heading to see whether I could get a bus home. You see, I live in an institution (NO! not a mental institution) a school institution and every day it brings school employees to town and picks up sufferes like us. So today, I missed that bus. I went and bought some fruits and on my way back, I saw the university bus. I ran to board it but apparently the driver was going somewhere else and coming back at 8 pm. it was around 7 pm then. So I alighted and started debating whether to go take a mat or just wait for the bus. I was heading to some bench that is usually around Standard Chartered bank (for those who know Nakuru) I passed between some curio shop and there was a street kid there playing (or rather destroying) with an airtel board. I passed him and he called out "Boss, nisaidie 10" as is the norm, I ignored him but he didnt stop he went calling "Boss, boss", I ignored and thought maybe he had given up but he hadnt. He ran besides me and was like "Boss, nisaidie 10 ya chai" I stopped and turned to him. I then thought "Maybe I could ask him a few questions to kill time"
For the sake of my international audience (But do I say?) I shall present the conversation in English. "That tea, where will you buy it from?" he pointed to some place and said "Its near those aerials" ( I am resorting to Kiswahili, sorry international community) I said okay and asked "Utapata chai ya ten bob kweli?" and he was like "Chai huanzia kitu 15 bob, lakini hio 10 itasaidia tu" I thought and then asked him whether he goes to school. He told me he goes to school and pointed in the general direction. He then told me that that was a school for the needy "Huko tu tunasaidiwa tusome na pia chakula. iko uko chini, kwa father. tunapewangwa chakula asubuhi, na lunch halafu jioni lazima tujitafutie chakula, ndo sasa tunakujanga town ndo tupate kitu ya kukula halafu baadae tutarudi uko tu shule. Shule watoto wadogo wanalalanga kitchen, tunapewa magunia halafu tunalala tu uko kwa kitchen" What he told me made me sympathise with him. So I asked him how he came till town and he told me after school he would just walk till town, beg for money then go back. I asked him how he would go back to school and he said he just walks, sometimes alone and sometimes with his fellow schoolmates. He then told me how if he gets some extra money he would save so that he could buy some shoes foe 200 shillings. he showed me his shoes and told me they werent even two months old but they were so worn out and he takes some extra cash to his teacher to help him get the shoes (or something of the sort. I didnt quite understand that part)
I asked the boy his name, and he told me that he is called John Kamau, he then told me how his mother had run away to Nairobi and his father is in Narok. His parents just deserted him. I asked him his age and he told me "Niko na miaka kumi na moja". My brother (our last born) is 11 years old. He is his agemate and it really pained me to think of parents deserting their children. I imagined what would my life have been had my own parents deserted me. What would have happened to my baby sister and baby brother? I wouldnt have turned out the way I am. I would have been worse than John.
I asked John about his safety and whether guys get beat up and he told me that they dont beat each other up and that what happens is that if someone does him wrong, he'll just mark him and tell his older friends who will revenge for him. I asked him his teacher's name and he told me "Teacher Ben" and how he takes some money to teacher Ben to save for him.
Despite all these, one thing really impressed me about this boy. The boy makes bead necklaces. he told me how he could buy beads for 20 bob and make necklaces which he sells to some guy for 20 bob. He had put one on and he removed it and showed it to me. It was a good necklace. It had red, white and black beads and something like a medallion at the front. I was amazed. He told me he even hadnt bought those beads, he had just picked them up. I was amazed and at the same time I was sad and felt sorry for the boy. Here is a boy with massive massive potential. Evidently bright, he has passed through alot for a boy his age. Being deserted by parents, having to sleep in a gunia, having to hustle money from people, some of whom insult him and treat him like an animal, but he is just a boy. A boy like you and I used to be. We had bikes to ride on but he has municipal council officers to run away from. We had a place to call home and beds to sleep on, but he has a gunia and the cold hard kitchen floor to call home. We had teachers and some of us even personal tutors but he only knows of Teacher Ben. Life hasnt been fair to this young boy. You look at your life and you thank God for what you have. Some if not most of us complain that what we have isnt enough but we ought to give thanks to God and not take anything for granted. I know it may seem hard especially for litlle John to do this, but the Bible tells us to give thanks in all circumstances (I cant seem to find the verses at the moment). What gives me hope is that the BIble tells us that God is the father to the fatherless, defender of the weak. He will provide for little John and many others like him. However, what I ask you and myself is, Are they really hopeless? Is there anything I can possibly do to help out? because it is not fair for a child to go through such. it is not right. anyway guys, have a good night and God bless you.
PS March is coming soon, my birthday is in March, my M-Pesa lines remains open at all times.
For feedback, you can email me Kalyadaniel@gmail .com or tweet me @Danielkalya.
God bless you and touch a heart
I see some of you are wondering "How does he manage to do that at such a consistent level?" I hate to brag, but I must say, I am the Ryan Giggs of escaping Valentines day. I should get a title for that. Something like, Daniel Kalya, the Valentines Avoider! Stop frowning, its a work in progress can Valentines Vanisher work? Naaah. I'm still working on it, chillax mayne dont pressure me. This is the Valentines Exceptionee at work. Drat! my creative muse is hiding from me. Come out come out wherever you are. I'll get you someday.
To continue with my brag. Its not that I dont care for my girlfriend. Our love goes beyond Valentines Day (Thats the excuse I used and guess what, it worked. All ye men must be hating me right now) and to add on to that, I delegated the Valentines day dinner to some one else. For once the friend zone did me some good (I so hope he doesnt see this coz he will definately demand for a refund). While ye men were busy sweating over the bill and the 22K champaigne, I was happy that Manchester United managed to get out of the Santiago Bernabeau with a point and an away goal. You see, for most of you Feb is Valentines month, for me it is Champions League month and for the sake of my friend one Ken Kiptoo and other Chelsea fans, EUROPA month. I just felt pain writing that. Lemme get a barf bag.
Anyway, enough small talk. Now today as I was heading from the gym. Why the surprise and the shocked faces? Yes, I do gym. I actually started last week. You see, getting home to mama's cooking made my already pronounced belly start to shout so I saw it fit to hit the gym. And no, there arent visible changes yet. Anyway, as I was leaving the gym today, I was heading to see whether I could get a bus home. You see, I live in an institution (NO! not a mental institution) a school institution and every day it brings school employees to town and picks up sufferes like us. So today, I missed that bus. I went and bought some fruits and on my way back, I saw the university bus. I ran to board it but apparently the driver was going somewhere else and coming back at 8 pm. it was around 7 pm then. So I alighted and started debating whether to go take a mat or just wait for the bus. I was heading to some bench that is usually around Standard Chartered bank (for those who know Nakuru) I passed between some curio shop and there was a street kid there playing (or rather destroying) with an airtel board. I passed him and he called out "Boss, nisaidie 10" as is the norm, I ignored him but he didnt stop he went calling "Boss, boss", I ignored and thought maybe he had given up but he hadnt. He ran besides me and was like "Boss, nisaidie 10 ya chai" I stopped and turned to him. I then thought "Maybe I could ask him a few questions to kill time"
For the sake of my international audience (But do I say?) I shall present the conversation in English. "That tea, where will you buy it from?" he pointed to some place and said "Its near those aerials" ( I am resorting to Kiswahili, sorry international community) I said okay and asked "Utapata chai ya ten bob kweli?" and he was like "Chai huanzia kitu 15 bob, lakini hio 10 itasaidia tu" I thought and then asked him whether he goes to school. He told me he goes to school and pointed in the general direction. He then told me that that was a school for the needy "Huko tu tunasaidiwa tusome na pia chakula. iko uko chini, kwa father. tunapewangwa chakula asubuhi, na lunch halafu jioni lazima tujitafutie chakula, ndo sasa tunakujanga town ndo tupate kitu ya kukula halafu baadae tutarudi uko tu shule. Shule watoto wadogo wanalalanga kitchen, tunapewa magunia halafu tunalala tu uko kwa kitchen" What he told me made me sympathise with him. So I asked him how he came till town and he told me after school he would just walk till town, beg for money then go back. I asked him how he would go back to school and he said he just walks, sometimes alone and sometimes with his fellow schoolmates. He then told me how if he gets some extra money he would save so that he could buy some shoes foe 200 shillings. he showed me his shoes and told me they werent even two months old but they were so worn out and he takes some extra cash to his teacher to help him get the shoes (or something of the sort. I didnt quite understand that part)
I asked the boy his name, and he told me that he is called John Kamau, he then told me how his mother had run away to Nairobi and his father is in Narok. His parents just deserted him. I asked him his age and he told me "Niko na miaka kumi na moja". My brother (our last born) is 11 years old. He is his agemate and it really pained me to think of parents deserting their children. I imagined what would my life have been had my own parents deserted me. What would have happened to my baby sister and baby brother? I wouldnt have turned out the way I am. I would have been worse than John.
I asked John about his safety and whether guys get beat up and he told me that they dont beat each other up and that what happens is that if someone does him wrong, he'll just mark him and tell his older friends who will revenge for him. I asked him his teacher's name and he told me "Teacher Ben" and how he takes some money to teacher Ben to save for him.
Despite all these, one thing really impressed me about this boy. The boy makes bead necklaces. he told me how he could buy beads for 20 bob and make necklaces which he sells to some guy for 20 bob. He had put one on and he removed it and showed it to me. It was a good necklace. It had red, white and black beads and something like a medallion at the front. I was amazed. He told me he even hadnt bought those beads, he had just picked them up. I was amazed and at the same time I was sad and felt sorry for the boy. Here is a boy with massive massive potential. Evidently bright, he has passed through alot for a boy his age. Being deserted by parents, having to sleep in a gunia, having to hustle money from people, some of whom insult him and treat him like an animal, but he is just a boy. A boy like you and I used to be. We had bikes to ride on but he has municipal council officers to run away from. We had a place to call home and beds to sleep on, but he has a gunia and the cold hard kitchen floor to call home. We had teachers and some of us even personal tutors but he only knows of Teacher Ben. Life hasnt been fair to this young boy. You look at your life and you thank God for what you have. Some if not most of us complain that what we have isnt enough but we ought to give thanks to God and not take anything for granted. I know it may seem hard especially for litlle John to do this, but the Bible tells us to give thanks in all circumstances (I cant seem to find the verses at the moment). What gives me hope is that the BIble tells us that God is the father to the fatherless, defender of the weak. He will provide for little John and many others like him. However, what I ask you and myself is, Are they really hopeless? Is there anything I can possibly do to help out? because it is not fair for a child to go through such. it is not right. anyway guys, have a good night and God bless you.
PS March is coming soon, my birthday is in March, my M-Pesa lines remains open at all times.
For feedback, you can email me Kalyadaniel@gmail .com or tweet me @Danielkalya.
God bless you and touch a heart
Saturday, 2 February 2013
ANGER MANAGEMENT
Happy February to you all. (I am still tempted to say "Happy new year!" but most of you are already tired of the new year) so finally February is here. The month of 'Loooooove' yes I know some of you are rolling your eyes at that but I know you, especially for the ladies! Valentine's day is the day most counted after number of days to KCPE and KCSE, yes, it beats christmas and Easter and Halloween (do people even do that in Kenya) now is the time when girls are all nice and good to us guys, all in a bid to escape the dreaded #teamforeveralone on Feberuary 14th, thereafter is when they'll go back to their usual selves, you know, ATT and the like and eyerolling, just like you are doing right now. Yes, I see you, and you too.
As valentine's day is the most awaited day for our beautiful and wonderful ladies (take that compliment, you wont get it alot from me) for guys its the most dreaded day of the year, the time of the year when all men are viewed to be santa. The demands that come our way during valentine's day! only the good Lord knows how we deal with it. I am pretty sure some guys are auctioning their girlfriends at the moment and those with no girlfriends but have those very close friends, you know, the ones who have friendzoned them, are really trying to close up business deals for valentines so that they get to be away, apparently, Valentine's day is the day when the friendzone is done away with, to be resuming at 12 midnight February 15th or even at 4pm February 14th depending on how early your date eneded. Mayne those who have friendzoned you but have no dates will be on your case so my fellow men, flee while you still can, when your body is still young and your wallent still heavy (its early Feb you know, still falls under 'end month') I pity bankers even more, Valentines day is their proper defination of mid-month, i mean being paid on the 24th, by 14th guys are as broke as......let me just say the similie 'as poor as a church mouse' fits them well here. Its ironic though, with them working in the bank and being broke, all that money within their reach but they cant have it, oooh the pain, so close yet so far. So, in the spirit of fellowship and support to my fellow men, even I, offer my girlfriend for Valentine, any takers? shez hot!!!! aaah I see hands. You, the one in the skinny jeans, she doesnt like those, get out! You, in supras, you are too young son, where is your ID, take your high school ID and go, aaaaah you, the only problem is that you are a wee bit to the lighter side, you see, she likes melanin, so I am afraid you have to leave, No sir, racism only applies when it is the dark fellows being victimised, yes adios, have a good time sir, you really missed a guuuudi one here. So i guess its me and her this Valentine's, not that I had any doubt about that. she wouldnt have taken any one though, its hard to be at my level. (yes, i see those eyerolls, Its true though)
What am I even saying, I have totally digressed from what I am to talk about, you see how Valentine's can affect a man, this is the time when a man's life can go totally downhill. A combination of spending, closely followed by rejection, is a good recipe for disaster. Chef Ramsey certified. Before I re-digress (is there anything like that?) where was I? Aaaaaah, Anger management.
Now anger is an issue that all of us are faced with and have to deal with. Everyone has anger, even the ones who put smiles on their faces 24/7 ask clowns, they'll tell you. I mean, with kids all over yanking your I dont know what and smacking you, these guys have to exercise alot of tolerance and self-control.
Anger is something that, if not dealt with, can cause alot of problems in a person's life, in how they relate to others and just many many things. Of course the ideal situation in life is there to be no anger, but unfortunately, this is not the case, we are all different people and people are bound to annoy each other and bore each other, and irritate each other, the issue is how to deal with these situations. Of course the root solution to the problem is to avoid angering others ( Is there such a word as angering?) but you get my point. Evidently, the universe decided to say NO to this approach so lets move on to the next point, how this anger can be managed to avoid escalations to the levels we saw during the PEV's and the recent (and sadly ongoing) Tana River clashes. You may think that anger is a small thing but it isnt, people kill others coz of anger. I believe you have heard of brothers killing each other because of the anger that is and was boiled and bottled up inside them, eventually it has to come out, someday, somehow.
Personally, I like talking it out with whoever is angry at me or whoever I am angry at, I have this condition, I dont know whether you have heard about it, but it is called "Lack of sleep" whenever I know somebody somewhere is angry at me, or I am angry at someone, more so if it is someone I love and care about, you know, my dad, my mum, my sister, I've never had any issues with my bro (but I guess thats coz of the age difference, my girlfriend, my close friends, I mean those people who are part of your life in some way. there are of course those who you dont really dont give much thought to them, I just let what they say pass, I experienced this alot in high school especially, you know, being in a school where your father is the principal, people are bound to talk and tell you stuff, these are the times when you should just let it pass and dont give it much thought.
This lack of sleep condition is genetic I believe, my father also cant sleep when he is mad at me or I am mad at him, many are the times we've been talking till like 2 am just sorting ourselves out, the procedure is usually the same, one of us does something wrong, (99% of the time being me) we keep quiet, he talks to me, I shut down, he gets mad, I get mad, tempers flare, we become reasonable at like midnight, then have a heart to heart. This is usually the most wonderful time, we get to know each other talk and be happy of each other's presence and both go to bed with smiles, hugging and laughing and in the morning everything is fine, asking each other how we slept, crack jokes and we continue living happily. My mother's approach is quite different, she never goes off the handle, she keeps quiet and waits, like a tigress and pounces at the right moment (she teaches psychology you know, I am the lab-rat) with a lecture I usually never forget, in a loving motherly way and she gets her point across and she is always right.
With my dad, I know everything would change if I dont shut down, so these days I tell him everything, well, almost everything about me, what I have, what I do, whats going on in my life, I know most of you wont believe this but I talk to him about girls, A LOT! and he offers me advice. The thing with anger, is we shouldnt let something that was meant to be happy cause tension. I remember a time when I had gone with some friends of mine to a certain school to give them a talk, that day I got in the zone (come to think, of it, I am always in the zone hehe) and ended up talking alot, preaching and basically covered up like everything everyone else had to say, my mum was so proud of me that day and we went home and my mum was telling my dad how I did well that day and instinctively, my dad wanted to know about it and asked me, I, in an effort to be 'humble', not to brag about what I achieved, gave him vague answers, I didnt mean any harm because I would have preffered my mum to tell him what happened, but by doing this, I was locking out my father from hearing what his son had donee, and theres no worse feeling than when you feel locked out by a person you love, I am sure many of you can attest to this. It is so frustrating, because here you are, stretching out to reach out to this person, but you are being blocked, every single attempt is thwarted. You feel so helpless, for us (my dad and I, we get sooo mad!) you want to talk to this person, share in his or her joy but its like talking to a wall! you need to talk to this person, you've got so much to share but you cant let it out. It is so frustrating. So that day, My dad got soooo frustrated, he got up, and threw his phone to the wall ( I shall not disclose its make), he threw it with so much force, the phone broke, he picked it up and just went and threw it in the dustbin and that is when it hit me, "Kalya, this wasnt nice at all at all" that night my dad tried to go to bed but he couldnt, he came out and we talked, I apologized and we just had a nice loving talk, needless to say, nothing of the sort has ever happened again.
And it happens like that, despite being angry, we shouldnt shut people who love us from our lives, communications is key, in any relationship, in family, boy-girl relationship, relationships between friends and relatives. Think about it, how many times have you and your family or girlfriend or boyfriend got into a fight just because you didnt talk or he didnt talk (or her?), you know, you went and met your girlfriend or boyfriend and he did something that you didnt like but instead of telling him or her that this wasnt nice, you keep it to yourself and later lock him out. I am sure many of you, especially guys, have got the silent treatment (my mum also gives me that sometimes) and you wonder, "What did I do?" you try talking but you get nothing, its even better talking to a wall, in the end you both get mad. How many relationships have broken because of this? think about it. How many families have ended in disarray because of this? the answer is alot! many many many.
One guy I really respect when it comes to communication is my high school deskmate. One Mr. Ken (you can follow him on twitter @capoKenn. He is very silly though) this guy and I used to frustrate each other alot!!! A lot I tell you but we never hesitated to tell the other once he crossed the line "Ken, hii ni nini unafanya? upuzi utaacha" and we'd sort it out like men. keeping thoughts and 'catching' without saying anything had a term 'Umathe' "Umathe utaacha", he told me several times whenever I was being all moody and broody, he also got his fair shair of the tongue lash as well, and this lead to a long and fruitful relationship as deskmates ( That just sounded so wrong) but it is the case, mark you, each of us had been dumped by our previous deskmates, I think coz of being too awesome, but I know that may be under contention, but it was a match made in heaven (okay, I know, I have gone too far) but it was as a result of communication and watching our tongues. Even the Bible tells us in Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger
So let us strive to talk and let others know what we think or feel, this helps alot in creating a harmonious environment. keeping it in will just bring issues later cos in Luke 6:45, the Bible tells us,
The good man brings good things out of the things stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart . For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
So let us strive to talk things out, for if we keep it in, we shall talk, and talk in abundance. Have a blessed Sunday y'all and a wonderful month of love and a blessed blessed year. Peace, I'm out
As valentine's day is the most awaited day for our beautiful and wonderful ladies (take that compliment, you wont get it alot from me) for guys its the most dreaded day of the year, the time of the year when all men are viewed to be santa. The demands that come our way during valentine's day! only the good Lord knows how we deal with it. I am pretty sure some guys are auctioning their girlfriends at the moment and those with no girlfriends but have those very close friends, you know, the ones who have friendzoned them, are really trying to close up business deals for valentines so that they get to be away, apparently, Valentine's day is the day when the friendzone is done away with, to be resuming at 12 midnight February 15th or even at 4pm February 14th depending on how early your date eneded. Mayne those who have friendzoned you but have no dates will be on your case so my fellow men, flee while you still can, when your body is still young and your wallent still heavy (its early Feb you know, still falls under 'end month') I pity bankers even more, Valentines day is their proper defination of mid-month, i mean being paid on the 24th, by 14th guys are as broke as......let me just say the similie 'as poor as a church mouse' fits them well here. Its ironic though, with them working in the bank and being broke, all that money within their reach but they cant have it, oooh the pain, so close yet so far. So, in the spirit of fellowship and support to my fellow men, even I, offer my girlfriend for Valentine, any takers? shez hot!!!! aaah I see hands. You, the one in the skinny jeans, she doesnt like those, get out! You, in supras, you are too young son, where is your ID, take your high school ID and go, aaaaah you, the only problem is that you are a wee bit to the lighter side, you see, she likes melanin, so I am afraid you have to leave, No sir, racism only applies when it is the dark fellows being victimised, yes adios, have a good time sir, you really missed a guuuudi one here. So i guess its me and her this Valentine's, not that I had any doubt about that. she wouldnt have taken any one though, its hard to be at my level. (yes, i see those eyerolls, Its true though)
What am I even saying, I have totally digressed from what I am to talk about, you see how Valentine's can affect a man, this is the time when a man's life can go totally downhill. A combination of spending, closely followed by rejection, is a good recipe for disaster. Chef Ramsey certified. Before I re-digress (is there anything like that?) where was I? Aaaaaah, Anger management.
Now anger is an issue that all of us are faced with and have to deal with. Everyone has anger, even the ones who put smiles on their faces 24/7 ask clowns, they'll tell you. I mean, with kids all over yanking your I dont know what and smacking you, these guys have to exercise alot of tolerance and self-control.
Anger is something that, if not dealt with, can cause alot of problems in a person's life, in how they relate to others and just many many things. Of course the ideal situation in life is there to be no anger, but unfortunately, this is not the case, we are all different people and people are bound to annoy each other and bore each other, and irritate each other, the issue is how to deal with these situations. Of course the root solution to the problem is to avoid angering others ( Is there such a word as angering?) but you get my point. Evidently, the universe decided to say NO to this approach so lets move on to the next point, how this anger can be managed to avoid escalations to the levels we saw during the PEV's and the recent (and sadly ongoing) Tana River clashes. You may think that anger is a small thing but it isnt, people kill others coz of anger. I believe you have heard of brothers killing each other because of the anger that is and was boiled and bottled up inside them, eventually it has to come out, someday, somehow.
Personally, I like talking it out with whoever is angry at me or whoever I am angry at, I have this condition, I dont know whether you have heard about it, but it is called "Lack of sleep" whenever I know somebody somewhere is angry at me, or I am angry at someone, more so if it is someone I love and care about, you know, my dad, my mum, my sister, I've never had any issues with my bro (but I guess thats coz of the age difference, my girlfriend, my close friends, I mean those people who are part of your life in some way. there are of course those who you dont really dont give much thought to them, I just let what they say pass, I experienced this alot in high school especially, you know, being in a school where your father is the principal, people are bound to talk and tell you stuff, these are the times when you should just let it pass and dont give it much thought.
This lack of sleep condition is genetic I believe, my father also cant sleep when he is mad at me or I am mad at him, many are the times we've been talking till like 2 am just sorting ourselves out, the procedure is usually the same, one of us does something wrong, (99% of the time being me) we keep quiet, he talks to me, I shut down, he gets mad, I get mad, tempers flare, we become reasonable at like midnight, then have a heart to heart. This is usually the most wonderful time, we get to know each other talk and be happy of each other's presence and both go to bed with smiles, hugging and laughing and in the morning everything is fine, asking each other how we slept, crack jokes and we continue living happily. My mother's approach is quite different, she never goes off the handle, she keeps quiet and waits, like a tigress and pounces at the right moment (she teaches psychology you know, I am the lab-rat) with a lecture I usually never forget, in a loving motherly way and she gets her point across and she is always right.
With my dad, I know everything would change if I dont shut down, so these days I tell him everything, well, almost everything about me, what I have, what I do, whats going on in my life, I know most of you wont believe this but I talk to him about girls, A LOT! and he offers me advice. The thing with anger, is we shouldnt let something that was meant to be happy cause tension. I remember a time when I had gone with some friends of mine to a certain school to give them a talk, that day I got in the zone (come to think, of it, I am always in the zone hehe) and ended up talking alot, preaching and basically covered up like everything everyone else had to say, my mum was so proud of me that day and we went home and my mum was telling my dad how I did well that day and instinctively, my dad wanted to know about it and asked me, I, in an effort to be 'humble', not to brag about what I achieved, gave him vague answers, I didnt mean any harm because I would have preffered my mum to tell him what happened, but by doing this, I was locking out my father from hearing what his son had donee, and theres no worse feeling than when you feel locked out by a person you love, I am sure many of you can attest to this. It is so frustrating, because here you are, stretching out to reach out to this person, but you are being blocked, every single attempt is thwarted. You feel so helpless, for us (my dad and I, we get sooo mad!) you want to talk to this person, share in his or her joy but its like talking to a wall! you need to talk to this person, you've got so much to share but you cant let it out. It is so frustrating. So that day, My dad got soooo frustrated, he got up, and threw his phone to the wall ( I shall not disclose its make), he threw it with so much force, the phone broke, he picked it up and just went and threw it in the dustbin and that is when it hit me, "Kalya, this wasnt nice at all at all" that night my dad tried to go to bed but he couldnt, he came out and we talked, I apologized and we just had a nice loving talk, needless to say, nothing of the sort has ever happened again.
And it happens like that, despite being angry, we shouldnt shut people who love us from our lives, communications is key, in any relationship, in family, boy-girl relationship, relationships between friends and relatives. Think about it, how many times have you and your family or girlfriend or boyfriend got into a fight just because you didnt talk or he didnt talk (or her?), you know, you went and met your girlfriend or boyfriend and he did something that you didnt like but instead of telling him or her that this wasnt nice, you keep it to yourself and later lock him out. I am sure many of you, especially guys, have got the silent treatment (my mum also gives me that sometimes) and you wonder, "What did I do?" you try talking but you get nothing, its even better talking to a wall, in the end you both get mad. How many relationships have broken because of this? think about it. How many families have ended in disarray because of this? the answer is alot! many many many.
One guy I really respect when it comes to communication is my high school deskmate. One Mr. Ken (you can follow him on twitter @capoKenn. He is very silly though) this guy and I used to frustrate each other alot!!! A lot I tell you but we never hesitated to tell the other once he crossed the line "Ken, hii ni nini unafanya? upuzi utaacha" and we'd sort it out like men. keeping thoughts and 'catching' without saying anything had a term 'Umathe' "Umathe utaacha", he told me several times whenever I was being all moody and broody, he also got his fair shair of the tongue lash as well, and this lead to a long and fruitful relationship as deskmates ( That just sounded so wrong) but it is the case, mark you, each of us had been dumped by our previous deskmates, I think coz of being too awesome, but I know that may be under contention, but it was a match made in heaven (okay, I know, I have gone too far) but it was as a result of communication and watching our tongues. Even the Bible tells us in Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger
So let us strive to talk and let others know what we think or feel, this helps alot in creating a harmonious environment. keeping it in will just bring issues later cos in Luke 6:45, the Bible tells us,
The good man brings good things out of the things stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart . For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
So let us strive to talk things out, for if we keep it in, we shall talk, and talk in abundance. Have a blessed Sunday y'all and a wonderful month of love and a blessed blessed year. Peace, I'm out
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?
Happy new year 2013 to you reading this post. Its an amazing year isn’t it? For me the year
looks bright and I am just glad to have been granted the gift of life by the
Almighty to see this new year. 2013. Did you know that 2013 is the year of
Jubilee?? No, not the coalition (but it may be, who knows) but the year of
Jubilee. Apparently 2013 is a Biblical year. Read Leviticus 25 to get more of
that (I have not read it yet as well but I will do that. Ama someone to read it
to me and tell me what it is about) anyway, I am happy to have seen the year
2013. I crossed the year with some psyche I tell you. Pomp and colour. I saw
fireworks for the first time. Both literally, and figuratively. The best
crossing over to the new year I have had in my 19 nearing 20 years of life.
Anyway, away with the pleasantries of the new year, let
us get down to business. Today’s post is meant for men. So ladies you can log
off and sign out at your own pleasure but if you are reading with a man, this
is the moment for you to shut your eyes. Okay, okay. Jeez! I knew you wont go
anywhere. These women of these days. I say its meant for men and here you are
still reading this. Okay I now give up. You can read it then but don’t say I
didn’t tell you to shut your eyes.
Today I ask the question: Are you man enough? Well,
many people or rather many men, or should I say dudes or guys, ok many members
of the male species have taken the wrong approach to being man enough. Many
think being man enough is judged by the size of your phallus (Read: Penis, for
those of us who were not fortunate enough to go to academies but instead went
to primary school. I don’t even know whether I have spelt phallus correctly but
anyway, its my blog. What I say, goes but I am open to correction). That’s but
only one approach. Others think that being man enough is judged by the number
of chics you have laid, or rather banged and a belief that is cropping up is
that if you haven’t got laid by a certain age, you are a failure as a man and
your manhood is referred to as a vestigial organ (yes, don’t act all shocked. I
still remember my Biology) well, I think that this kind of thinking is, in my
father’s words “Upuzi” and many guys
get all kind of praise for the number of chics they have banged and the more
the merrier and the more revered you are among your peers. Well, to be honest,
this kind of thinking is, in polite terms, primitive.
I am not saying that I am not a victim of this kind of
thinking, well I have never got laid or banged a chic if I must say, but as a
guy, you get some kind of pride in the number of chics you are able to ‘ingiza
box’ I mean, who doesn’t like it when a bevy of chics are all over you
complimenting you and making you feel like Hercules? I am not against guys
getting to know chics and having fun with them but there is a limit and this is
especially for those who are tied down, you know, those who are in commitments
and in relationships. When in a relationship, you must show how much of a man
you are. A real man does not go about flirting with every Tatiana, Diana and
Harriet ( the female version of Tom, Dick and Harry) while you have a
girlfriend or wife. It just isn’t right. A real man doesn’t go about kissing
every girl within an arms length of your lips (wait, does that even make sense)
okay at an arms length. It is not right. A real man does not go grinding every
chic he lays his eyes on in the club or on the dancefloor. A real man does not
go about touching touching every woman on his way inappropriately, while at the
time singing to Pliers Please Excuse My Hands. Keep your hands to yourself
boy!!! A real man does not go about disrespecting women and looking down upon
them all because you were ‘circumcised’. Circumcision doesn’t pay the bills
boy! Circumcision is meant to make you a man, teach you how to treat women with
respect, give them the affection they require and crave for, uplift the ladies,
be responsible, be assertive, be innovative, be a helper to those around you.
Circumcision is meant to teach you morals and not vices like spending the whole
day in the village pub drinking then going home to demand food from your
mother. You do not deserve to eat boy! You deserve a thorough beating.
Circumcision is not meant for you to disrespecting women and treating them like
objects and servants telling them that the kitchen is their place, that their
only work is to feed you, clothe you, and give you babies. No mayne that’s not
how to be a man.
The list is endless on what real men are not supposed
to do. I believe that real men are not supposed to be banging every chic they
lay their eyes on.
What has made me say all these today??? Well, I
realized that I happen to be a victim of these false men. These men who are not
supposed to be there. These men that we are trying to eradicate and our mothers
and sisters are complaining so hard about. I may be in a relationship, in a
commitment to a young fine beautiful lady but here I am, totally checking other
chics out. Here I am, kissing other chics behind her back, and living with myself
in the name of “What you don’t know wont hurt” and so I continue with these
filthy and disgusting ways of life. Well, here is some newsflash for you. The
Bible tells us that “What is done in the dark shall be brought to life”
unfortunately right now I don’t remember exactly the portion of scripture that
is from but if I remember I shall let you know. However, you should not be a
real man just because you are threatened. You should strive to be a man who can
be looked upon. Who guides his siblings. Who tells his sister(s) on what type
of guys they should avoid and who is ready to punch the daylights of anyone who
dares come within striking distance of his sister’s essentials. We should be
the men who make our parents proud. The Bible, in Proverbs 10:1 says:
“….A wise son brings joy to his father but a
foolish son, heartache to the mother”
My fellow men, let us strive to be wise sons. Let us
stand up and keep our ballz in check. They will not dissolve or go away if we
don’t keep laying girls all over the place.
One thing we need to realize and I realized today is
that, we cannot remain faithful and be real men by our own abilities and
strengths. Many are the times I have thought that “Aaaah. I can resist the
girls’ advances by myself” My brother you are deceiving yourself. This thing
needs God’s help and hand to strengthen us. Look at the number of married men
chasing after young girls in this country. Mpango wa kando has become a norm in
the society all in the name of men saying “I have a business meeting” we have
teachers hitting on their primary school pupils (I witnessed this in my primary
school) and teachers in high school hitting on their students. You say you are
not like that but you continue kissing that girl or those girls and none of
them is your girlfriend, you continue flirting
with every chic you can talk to, you lead chics on and bang them left
right and center, you go about cheating on your girlfriend. What makes you
think that you are different from all those other men that ladies are complaining
about. We are not different from those men. We just have to gird our loins and
raise our standards.
I believe its not too late to make resolutions, it is
still the first week of January and I, Daniel Kalya Kiptiony, being of sane and
sound mind, do solemnly resolve, to being a real man. I hope you make the
resolution too…….Ladies you can now open your eyes. Its all clear.
For feedback, you can email me at:
Kalyadaniel@gmail.com
Tuesday, 4 December 2012
Pre-marital sex: my view
Well, it’s been
quite a while since I last blogged. Nearly two months to be precise and the way
I started on fire. I mean 3 posts within a week, that is nothing other than
fire. I was so on fire till one of my friends and fellow blogger, Ivy, asked me
“What is your muse?” I so hope that is the spelling of muse Ivy. I still don’t have
the right idea what a muse is but I guess I will google it (but then again, I
will get the correct result only if the spelling is correct. Aaaaah, light bulb
moment. I will google “ How do you spell muse? The one associated with writers
that is. Muse or moose?” that should work) and of course given that I didn’t know
(and still don’t) what muse meant, I didn’t give a conclusive answer. Anyway,
you guyz might be wondering whether that was just starters psyche which would
eventually end, well I got some news for you. It wasn’t. There are many things
that contributed to my looong silence. It was actually more like a self-imposed
exile in the world of books as I was preparing for my end-year examinations. Yes
I am now done with second year of university and the first three days of
my 4-month holiday have gone pretty
well. So far I am enjoying my holiday. Also, there was the small factor of my
bundles running out and with my budget ya sufferer, I had to survive without
it.
Anyway, doing
away with the pleasantries, lets get down to today’s post. Today’s youth and
sex. Well I was reading yesterday’s Crazy Monday and its feature story was (and
still is), ‘ Reckless and restless: Daredevils risking HIV infection because it
is ‘sweeter’ without protection’. This title is just a reflection about today’s
society. Ok not really today’s society coz it has been there since the days of
our parents and grandparents only that it was less publicized then. It only
made the village news and gossip but today there is nationwide coverage. Well,
sex is something that is there and has been. Whereas the Bible clearly says
that sex is meant for marriage, sex is something that is everywhere these days
and apparently everyone is doing it. These days getting a 20-year old virgin is
very rare almost unheard of. Well some of them aren’t virgins because of
unfortunate circumstances such as rape which is very sad but the vast majority aren’t
virgins by choice. They had sex not by accident and continue doing so without
any worries nor qualms. Well most people have several reasons for having sex or
as Sheldon aptly puts it “Engaging in coitus” and some of these reasons include
“Oh I love him and it is the show of our love” and “Its soooo good I cant stay
without it” and there those of “Everyone’s doing it so why not?” and there are
those who say “It just happens. One minute we were just kissing and the next
thing we knew it happened” well you it just happens and it will always keep on
happening.
Its not that I
have anything against chics or guyz who aren’t virgins. No I haven’t got
anything against them at all at all but I do believe that sex before marriage
is wrong and it hurts me or disturbs me when guys are having intercourse all
over and do not have a problem with it at all. If a person has had sex a
million times but then realizes that it shouldn’t be the case and stops, that
is well and good. I would like everyone to do that because there is something
known as secondary virginity. Also, lets get something straight here. I am not condemning
anyone because I know what happens in these moments of passion coz I am a
normal guy. What I am saying is, lets have some restraint guyz and just wait
till marriage. I know its hard but it is very possible.
Today I am just
writing my thoughts as they come. They aren’t coherent as such but anyway,
lemme just continue writing what I have in mind. I have been arguing with guya
left right and centre over whether guyz should have sex before marriage and it
is not surprising that a lot, and I mean a lot of guyz believe that sex is not
wrong. Many guyz believe that sex is perfectly fine and a good argument I was
given was: Why did God give us these feelings then if we are not to use them until
marriage. If God wanted us to not have sex till marriage He should have given
us these feelings once we marry.” That was a strong point that I wasn’t really
able to answer well at that time and maybe I also cannot answer it very well
right now but one thing I know is that God is a God of choices. He has given us
the free-will do do what we want, and he has also given us a conscience and
self-control and He knows that with our self-control, we can resist these
feelings and hold on tight till marriage.
So lemme get on
to why I believe it is wrong to have sex before marriage. Being a Christian, I
of kos must start from the good book. The Holy Bible. I know many guyz think “Aaaarg
the Bible is just there to kazia us. I have a right to do as I want and when I
want” which is true. We have a right to do what we want and these point will go
out mainly to Christians who are reading this post. The Bible is against sexual
immorality and fornication which is sex before marriage as it has greatly
condemned sexual immorality as can be seen in 1st Corinthians 6:9-10
Do
you know that the unjust will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: no
sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes,
homosexuals, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, revilers or swindlers
will inherit God’s kingdom.
Well there you
have it. I have underlined sexually immoral coz that’s what I am talking about,
and also drunkards coz it’s something I have also been involved in arguments
about alcohol but that will be a post for another day. But there those of you
who are already in it and kind of saying now its all gone but its not. Verse 11
says:
Some
of you were like this; but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were
justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the spirit of our God.
So it is
possible to get out of it. I know guyz who have got out of it and I greatly
respect them. They also happen to be my closest friends some of them.
I am not done
trying to convince you that sexual immorality is wrong. 1st
Corinthians 6:18-20 says:
Flee
from sexual immorality! “Every sin a person can commit is outside the body”,
but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. Do you know
that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have
from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price, therefore glorify
God in your body.
I know it seems
hard. I know this coz even for me it is hard to leave these things coz it is
good but I got to do what is right and set your mind to it. I know that it is
our body and we have a right to do what we want but think of this. 1st
Corinthians 10:23:
“Everything
is permissible” but not everything is helpful, “Everything is permissible” but
not everything builds up.
That was just my
argument from a Biblical perspective. Now for those of you who want me to get
real and get to things as they are in life. Ok then let me explain to you why
sex before marriage is wrong. My argument may not make sex before marriage
wrong but is should discourage people, especially chics from having sex before
marriage.
The other day I
was chatting with a friend of mine and I asked him whether he would go out with
a chic who is not a virgin and he said a big NO! no matter how far the
relationship is, if the chic is not a virgin then he cant go out with her. Mark
you, this guy isn’t a virgin himself. He has banged chics and I don’t think he
has any intention of stopping (don’t think that I support his actions and he
knows that) and I asked him the reason for his stand. He told me that chics
have a tendency of going back to whoever broke their virginity which I agree
with. There is something about the guy who breaks a chic’s virginity and he didn’t
want that to happen. However, there is another reason for that. Disclaimer:
this wasn’t his reason but this is my reasoning. Guyz are conquerors. We like
achieving things and expanding our territory. We want to go to unchartered
waters and lands and set-up our flag there and this is why many guyz look for
virgins and this explains why a chic who has slept with many guyz is branded a
slut while a guy who has slept with many chics is a hero and a ‘conqueror’ and
guyz are pretty cunning. They may pretend to really love you, lavish you with
gifts and treats and you there as a chic going “Awwwww, he really loves me” and
you are ready to give him your dignity. Ladies, your vagina is your bargaining
power if I may say. It is the ultimate gift and guyz think like investors of
sorts. Investors spend on stocks and put in a lot of money in then knowing that
in the long run, I will get a return. So for guyz it is the same. He will treat
you and ‘invest’ in you and make you feel “aaaah. This I love. He can have me
whole” well the guy will be cha-ching! Time to reap his returns, and he will
have sex with you. Well at that moment, he will have had wat he wanted and you,
the chic will not have anything now and
with that most guyz fold and disappear into thin air. Before long they want new
adventure and break-off the relationship leaving u despondent. So ladies don’t give
out your dignity till marriage. If he is the one, he will remain with you the
whole time trust me, but if he pressures you into giving him “some good loving”
don’t do it. Tell him to wait coz if you give him, what will stop him from
leaving? He will have had the ultimate goal and if that’s all he wanted he will
go but if he wants you for you, he will stay and be patient.
Another thing. Guys
lose respect for chics who are easy to bang. Yes I said it. Once you give in to
a guyz demands he loses some level of respect for you. This is very evident. My
classmates, especially those who I was with in high school greatly respect
those chics who are upright and not loose. You shud hear the terms used to
describe some chics who are easy to bang. Even those who only have sex with
their boyfriends only. And there are those chics who have ‘standards’. They
only have sex with their boyfriends. Well, good thought but then when you two
break-up and you have a new boyfriend who you have sex with, and then you
break-up then another and another and another, what is there to stop you from
being called a slut, after all “umepitiwa na wengi” so its better to refrain
till marriage so that u will marry the right guy and you will still have your
dignity intact.
Other than that,
from those I have talked to, in as much as sex is good, as soon as it is over,
you feel guilty and bad. A good number of chics hate themselves after having
sex and that’s when you try washing yourself out. You have lost respect for yourself
and that guy has lost respect for you and as a result you are the ultimate
loser. Ask yourself. Is it really necessary to hate yourself for days on end
and feel bad about yourself and not have your dignity all for 3 minutes of
pleasure? Yes its 3 minutes of pleasure, don’t tell me ati the whole night. Studies
show that an average guy orgasms between 3-5 minutes while for a chic is takes
12-15 minutes to orgasm. So here you are, hating yourself for weeks, months,
even years for 3 minutes if pleasure, which was more effective for the guy coz
he reached his climax and left you there halfway and he turned and slept ama
left (yes, most guyz lose interest after orgasm). Is it really worth it? So its
better to wait till marriage.
Ok my last
point. This also comes with some personal experience. Guyz are guyz with egos
and as I said earlier, we are conquerors. Guyz do not want or do not like
things that have already been conquered. And this goes to chics who aren’t conquerors.
It hurts a guy who likes you, like really really likes you to think of you with
someone else. Yea u may think he’s good with it but he doesn’t like it at all.
Its like he has been beaten to something he wanted. Lets give an example of the
last fashionable sweater in a shop and some chic beats you to it. You get that
bad feeling in your throat and you feel like grabbing that sweater from the
chic. Well this is the feeling that most guyz get when they imagine you with
someone else, when they think of that someone else breaking your virginity,
they know its something they have failed to do. You are already the prize
winnings of another guy. You are conquered land. While some guyz could live
with that most guyz cannot take it and will rather have the satisfaction of
having a chic who they have conquered and that explains why my friend wont go
out with a chic who aint a virgin despite he not being a virgin and why a good
number of chics have had to settle with the second best just coz the best guy couldn’t
stand imagining that he is with someone who has already been conquered.
Therefore, with
that, I conclude my argument on why it is wrong to have sex before marriage and
why people should not have sex before marriage. I know its hard but we should struggle to avoid it. Wa! Its been a long post. Even I
didn’t imagine it could be this long. I hope I have convinced you If I haven’t,
I will continue doing so. For feedback you can comment or send an email to
Kalyadaniel@gmail.com
Sunday, 7 October 2012
Gospel Industry: Ministry or Money
At the moment, I am really really purring having just watched my beloved Manchester United breeze past the Magpies (Newcastle for those of you who might be wondering). Sweet sweet revenge that was considering our last visit to St. James' park (now known as the Sports Direct Arena) was just a nightmare. Demba Ba bullied our defense and we left 3-0 losers. This time out however, it has been a reverse. We ran out 3-0 winners with goals from Johnny Evans, Patiice Evra and a wonder goal from Tom Cleverly. We spread them goals around. Anybody can score at Manchester United. Yes, that is especially meant for those haters who have the guts to claim that Man Utd are a one man team. That is such a....I dont even want to get into that ate the moment coz I will veer off completely from my purpose of this evening's blog (Yea, I know I already have)
Well, over the weekend I went home. Home home in Nakuru county, Rongai Division, Kampi-Ya-Moto location, Kabarak village. I had gone to see my dentist (U see we usually have dates at least once every month...ok the politically correct word is appointment). While coming from the dentist's place heading to the stage to take a mat home, I noticed that there was a Pilsner sponsored gig dubbed 'King of Bold' taking place at Westside Mall or for those who may have trouble finding out where that is, at Nakumatt. (There is only one Nakumatt in Nakuru so if u still cant find it, I direct you to https://maps.google.com/ coz I cant see any other way of helping you out) Well this has been a series of shows held by Pilsner around the country apparently. That is perfectly fine. I have no problem with those guyz holding gigs and the like. My concern however came when I spotted Juliani among the list of perfomers. The others being Madtraxx, Abbas and some other perfoming artiste who I dont seem to remember (obviously, otherwise I would have stated his name). Does any of you raise any eyebrows seeing Juliani's name there ama its just okay and fine with you. Is there something wrong?
Yes. There is something terribly wrong with that. You see, Juliani is a gospel artiste (last time I checked). Though not every church accepts him as a gospel artiste mainly because of his dreads and the genre of his songs, he still is a gospel artiste judging from his songs and the messages sent out from his songs. This is a guy I respect and I am a fan of his. I mean breaking away from Ukoo Flani Mau Mau (If I am not wrong) to come and sing gospel. I tell you, that is no easy feat and Juliani should be lauded for that. That been said, I believe singing or doing gospel is a calling and when singing your songs, it should be ministering to people. This is where I have a problem with Juliani perfoming in the 'King of Bold' concert/tour/gig/whatever name you want to call it. You see, this is a gig sponsored by a company that manufactures alcohol (Yes, I dont believe in drinking alcohol). Well you may ask me, what if an alcoholic company decide to sponsor a gospel event? Are gospel musicians not supposed to sing there and minister there then? Well, in as much as that is highly unlikely, as long as the company does not sell any alcoholic drinks or anything related to alcohol, I have no problem with that. The main reason why I dont want anything alcoholic there is because we all know the effects of alcohol and judgement. Your judgement becomes impared (chics get hotter, guyz get courage you would never have imagined they ever had, and in most cases that is when 'accident' that, rather than causing damage, cause children happen) so alcohol in a gospel gig is a NO! NO! I know the point of "But Jesus turned water into wine" will be raised, but that will be a discussion for another day or blog.
Now how did I even get here? Oh yes, the event being sponsored by an alcoholic beverage company. Well now that we have got that settled, the other issue is who perfomed alongside Juliani in this gig? The answer is in paragraph one. Abbas, Madtraxx and the other fellow. All of whom are secular artistes mark you, not that I have any beef with them or anything. I know some of you liberal Christians have no problem with Juliani perfoming alongside these guyz with your "But he will still sing gospel" and your "its not as if he sang secular" I agree, he will still sing gospel but for what purpose? Surely you cant mean to tell me that Juliani is there to minister to tipsy fellaz as the continue indulging themselves with alcohol as the night fades away. There is no way you can convince me that ministry is the cause of him being there. I believe it is safe to say that Juliani asked "How much?" he was given his price and he was okay with perfoming. Keyword: PERFOMING. Which begs the question, is the gospel industry ministry or money? Evidently from that situation it was the money and not ministry.
Well, that was case one. Case two: for those of you guyz who had the priviledge of going to AFLEWO (Africa Lets Worship) concert that was in NPC Karen, you must have seen how The Voice sang. This group of five young men who are extremely talented in singing acappella and have released two albums. This guyz sang and blew us away. The following week on Sunday they came to the church where I worship, that is NPC-Valley road. They were just from singing in the main church and they had been invited to the youth church to sing there as well. I was very very excited to see them because, I am in a group where we sing acappella as well and anything good in acappella excites me and interests me. So seeing these guyz come in made me really really excited. I was beaming....No scratch that. I was glowing when I saw these guyz come in. Unfortunately, they came in as the preaching was going on so they had to wait till after the preaching so that they could get a chance to sing (ok not unfortunately coz the preaching is a very important part of the service but I hope you get my drift). So they sat down and waited. However, after 10 minutes they started leaving one by one. I was disappointed. I hoped that they were doing something shortly then they would comeback but how wrong I was. They didnt resurface much to my dismay. So after service I walked to my pastor and asked him "Maze pasi niaje unatuchokoza hivi. Kutuletea the Voice halafu wanatoka" them my pasi was like "Those guyz were impatient" and I took it at that. When I got out of the church, I spotted them. So I walked to them and I was like "Mbona mlitoka hivo mapema majameni?" (owh. I might have left out a tinney weeney piece of info that these guyz are from Dar-es-saalam Tanzania) and they were like "Tulikua twauza ma cd's zetu". That reply really disappointed me. You mean guyz left service, they left a chance to minister only to sell cd's. I mean had they sang, they would have got buyers from the youth service. But leaving service to sell cd's was not a good idea at all. And this again begs the question. The gospel industry: Ministry or money?
These are just but two of the many cases around. We have heard about gospel artistes demanding a certain amount of money before perfoming. Again the word perfoming rears it ugly head. Gospel artistes refusing to perfom for a certain group of people coz they arent in their league and the like....This is nothing but unfortunate.
Dont get me wrong though. I am not hating on these guyz at all coz they are using the talent that God has given them to reach out to His people. This is just but a reality check of sorts. A challenge to them to remember the calling that they have received and do their songs for ministry...to reach out to the world from the bottom of their heart. To keep this song in mind
And in other news, I would like to wish a happy birthday to my dear friend Jacklyne Betty and you should also read her blog http://njerijacklyne.wordpress.com/ also, in bigger news, after a long and fruitful relationship, my braces and I have broken up (both literally and figuratively).
Am now off to see what I can salvage from the thriller that is the 'el-classico'. Have a blessed week ahead y'all.
Well, over the weekend I went home. Home home in Nakuru county, Rongai Division, Kampi-Ya-Moto location, Kabarak village. I had gone to see my dentist (U see we usually have dates at least once every month...ok the politically correct word is appointment). While coming from the dentist's place heading to the stage to take a mat home, I noticed that there was a Pilsner sponsored gig dubbed 'King of Bold' taking place at Westside Mall or for those who may have trouble finding out where that is, at Nakumatt. (There is only one Nakumatt in Nakuru so if u still cant find it, I direct you to https://maps.google.com/ coz I cant see any other way of helping you out) Well this has been a series of shows held by Pilsner around the country apparently. That is perfectly fine. I have no problem with those guyz holding gigs and the like. My concern however came when I spotted Juliani among the list of perfomers. The others being Madtraxx, Abbas and some other perfoming artiste who I dont seem to remember (obviously, otherwise I would have stated his name). Does any of you raise any eyebrows seeing Juliani's name there ama its just okay and fine with you. Is there something wrong?
Yes. There is something terribly wrong with that. You see, Juliani is a gospel artiste (last time I checked). Though not every church accepts him as a gospel artiste mainly because of his dreads and the genre of his songs, he still is a gospel artiste judging from his songs and the messages sent out from his songs. This is a guy I respect and I am a fan of his. I mean breaking away from Ukoo Flani Mau Mau (If I am not wrong) to come and sing gospel. I tell you, that is no easy feat and Juliani should be lauded for that. That been said, I believe singing or doing gospel is a calling and when singing your songs, it should be ministering to people. This is where I have a problem with Juliani perfoming in the 'King of Bold' concert/tour/gig/whatever name you want to call it. You see, this is a gig sponsored by a company that manufactures alcohol (Yes, I dont believe in drinking alcohol). Well you may ask me, what if an alcoholic company decide to sponsor a gospel event? Are gospel musicians not supposed to sing there and minister there then? Well, in as much as that is highly unlikely, as long as the company does not sell any alcoholic drinks or anything related to alcohol, I have no problem with that. The main reason why I dont want anything alcoholic there is because we all know the effects of alcohol and judgement. Your judgement becomes impared (chics get hotter, guyz get courage you would never have imagined they ever had, and in most cases that is when 'accident' that, rather than causing damage, cause children happen) so alcohol in a gospel gig is a NO! NO! I know the point of "But Jesus turned water into wine" will be raised, but that will be a discussion for another day or blog.
Now how did I even get here? Oh yes, the event being sponsored by an alcoholic beverage company. Well now that we have got that settled, the other issue is who perfomed alongside Juliani in this gig? The answer is in paragraph one. Abbas, Madtraxx and the other fellow. All of whom are secular artistes mark you, not that I have any beef with them or anything. I know some of you liberal Christians have no problem with Juliani perfoming alongside these guyz with your "But he will still sing gospel" and your "its not as if he sang secular" I agree, he will still sing gospel but for what purpose? Surely you cant mean to tell me that Juliani is there to minister to tipsy fellaz as the continue indulging themselves with alcohol as the night fades away. There is no way you can convince me that ministry is the cause of him being there. I believe it is safe to say that Juliani asked "How much?" he was given his price and he was okay with perfoming. Keyword: PERFOMING. Which begs the question, is the gospel industry ministry or money? Evidently from that situation it was the money and not ministry.
Well, that was case one. Case two: for those of you guyz who had the priviledge of going to AFLEWO (Africa Lets Worship) concert that was in NPC Karen, you must have seen how The Voice sang. This group of five young men who are extremely talented in singing acappella and have released two albums. This guyz sang and blew us away. The following week on Sunday they came to the church where I worship, that is NPC-Valley road. They were just from singing in the main church and they had been invited to the youth church to sing there as well. I was very very excited to see them because, I am in a group where we sing acappella as well and anything good in acappella excites me and interests me. So seeing these guyz come in made me really really excited. I was beaming....No scratch that. I was glowing when I saw these guyz come in. Unfortunately, they came in as the preaching was going on so they had to wait till after the preaching so that they could get a chance to sing (ok not unfortunately coz the preaching is a very important part of the service but I hope you get my drift). So they sat down and waited. However, after 10 minutes they started leaving one by one. I was disappointed. I hoped that they were doing something shortly then they would comeback but how wrong I was. They didnt resurface much to my dismay. So after service I walked to my pastor and asked him "Maze pasi niaje unatuchokoza hivi. Kutuletea the Voice halafu wanatoka" them my pasi was like "Those guyz were impatient" and I took it at that. When I got out of the church, I spotted them. So I walked to them and I was like "Mbona mlitoka hivo mapema majameni?" (owh. I might have left out a tinney weeney piece of info that these guyz are from Dar-es-saalam Tanzania) and they were like "Tulikua twauza ma cd's zetu". That reply really disappointed me. You mean guyz left service, they left a chance to minister only to sell cd's. I mean had they sang, they would have got buyers from the youth service. But leaving service to sell cd's was not a good idea at all. And this again begs the question. The gospel industry: Ministry or money?
These are just but two of the many cases around. We have heard about gospel artistes demanding a certain amount of money before perfoming. Again the word perfoming rears it ugly head. Gospel artistes refusing to perfom for a certain group of people coz they arent in their league and the like....This is nothing but unfortunate.
Dont get me wrong though. I am not hating on these guyz at all coz they are using the talent that God has given them to reach out to His people. This is just but a reality check of sorts. A challenge to them to remember the calling that they have received and do their songs for ministry...to reach out to the world from the bottom of their heart. To keep this song in mind
Am now off to see what I can salvage from the thriller that is the 'el-classico'. Have a blessed week ahead y'all.
Friday, 5 October 2012
The Power of Prayer
It is a Friday night.People are out having fun, enjoying themselves clubbing or whatever else they find interesting. Basically, they are having the time of their lives while I am here blogging (whoever says I have a sad life has a sad life). Blogging is quite fun actually so I am not complaining. Getting back to the topic. I know you may have heard, seen, read about or been preached about on the title this particular post. However, before you switch off or quit reading, this thing is actually true and I can attest to it. Recent events have caused me to wholly accept the power of prayer.
So this is what happened, I was in a hurry to get to school. I was running late for class. I remember taking the ipod with me but I didnt listen to it (something that occurs very rarely). I took breakfast, and since I was running really late, I decided to take a mat to school. So far, nothing unusual. So I found a classmate of mine also waiting for a matatu as well so we chatted away. Punde si punde, matatu ilifika and I spotted that Newspaper in the front seat of the mat and very fast I went to seat there so that I can at least get to read and be informed of what is going on in this our country. All was well, I alighted, paid my fare, went to class, concentrated, asked my share of questions in class and yea, there was nothing unusual. So after class I go to the student's centre and there is where my ipod usually comes in.
I reach into my pocket and I get that sinking feeling. Yes, I know you have got them numerous times. The ipod wasnt there. I dont know why, but for some reason, you find yourself checking deeper into the pocket, as if your pockets have their own pockets, or a secret tunnel. I was surprised not to find it there, but I managed to quell my fears that were rapidly bubbling up consoling myself that it wasnt lost but rather, in my hurry to leave school, I had left it in my room and my day continued as usual (only without my ipod).
Evening came and I went to my room. Kwanza, I went relatively early coz I wanted to practice my guitar (yes, I try to play the guitar). I take out my key, open the door and I find my study table absolutely empty and that is when the fears came rushing back. I threw my bag to my bed (fighting the temptation to use king-sized) and started searching for it. Nothing. Now this is the time you start searching in places you never even knew existed and places that even I found laughing at myself for looking (like my cologne box). Nevertheless, despite my radiant efforts, I yielded nothing and that is when fear turned to despair and frustration. I thought of every place I had been to the whole day but I just couldnt remember where I last had my ipod but I remembered leaving with it from my room. For one reason or the other, I coulldnt remember who I had sat with during breakfast. Then my mind went to the matatu ride I had taken and boy I was finished. I mean, that wasnt my first time to have lost something in a matatu. I was now scared, gutted, frustrated, despaired. I think my face had paled (and the way I am dark. Yes, tall, dark and handsome.....ok ok stop objecting....dark and handsome).
I thought to myself "Surely Apple must have a tracking system of sorts, with all their quality control and the like, they must have one" and very fast, everything else I had planned for the evening was put on hold and online I went and that is when my frustration and emotions that I had kept within me turned to anger. How can a whole company like Apple fail to have a tracking system. I know they are annoying. What with their no sharing of songs, having a camera without a flash nor a zoom, I mean, which camera these days has no zoom? This time however they had gone too far. Yaani Apple do not have a tracking device. I was so pissed and at the same time so so disheartened. The only thing(s) I could think of was turning to God and I remember asking God to show his face and power. That whoever had that ipod could just get touched and return it. I tell you the praying I did was immense. That was when my faith was tested. I mean how many people who lose their things get them back? But I still prayed and I went to bed.
This morning I woke up with the hope of hearing it ring but 7 am came and went and then I heard it. I could swear I heard it but it was only my mind playing tricks on me. I prepared myself and went to school. That first class I can't say that I concentrated. My mind kept going back to that ipod and how I was going to inform my parents that I had lost my ipod. I still kept on praying silently for the return of my ipod. Then after class this classmate of mine comes and asks me. "Kalya nisaidie na ipod yako" And am like "eeeh sina". She then goes ahead and rummages through her handbag (these ladies handbags these days. The could be carrying children for all we know!) as she says "Utawacha kua careless" as she removes the *drumroll* ipod. I swear this song went through my mind
I was so relieved and I believe I should say that I will be forever be indebted to on Caroline Mutiso well until I take her to Sankara for lunch or dinner, yea we have got that settled. Forever indebted it is. But I was so grateful to God. If that is not an answered prayer, I dont know what is then.
However, in spite of all the pain and emotional distress I went through, I learnt a very valuable lesson. If just an ipod, a material thing can shake me to the very core of my emotions when I lose it or misplace it, how much more pain and torture and despair will I feel when the people I love are taken away from me? And will people feel despair when I am taken away from them? In that light, we should not take the ones who love us and the ones we love for granted. Love them with your all and give them your all lest the Lord decides to take them away from you.Fight for that love. Listen to this song
Even I am surprised by my level of deepness or is it depth
How do I now start? *putting on thinking hat*..... well, I guess I shall start chronologically. See, 3 or so months ago, my parents got me an ipod touch as a gift. A present that I can't say I deserved and neither had I asked them for it. They just deemed it fit to get me an ipod touch (and I am grateful to God for granting them that kind of wisdom). That evening, I remember very well my dear father's words as he handed over the ipod, very much untouched, in its case (and boy, do apple know how to package their products). He said
Kalya, Ukipoteza hii ipod wewe ni loan tu unanilipaI know he meant it jokingly (yes, my father has a sense of humour-------> for those who know him as a stern man) but deep inside he meant that this was an important gift (not that other gifts are unimportant), that they had sacrificed to get me this gift and I was to take care of it very well. It was one of those gifts that I was meant to guard with my life (except in cases when a thief has a gun over my head and a knife on my backside) and that I did. I took really good care of it. I had it in my sight nearly all the time (of course except when I was sleeping coz then I had no other option) until yesterday, Thursday 4th October, 2012, when it seemingly went out of my sight and consequently out of my mind (ok the latter part is not true. I just wanted to sound High school-ish).
So this is what happened, I was in a hurry to get to school. I was running late for class. I remember taking the ipod with me but I didnt listen to it (something that occurs very rarely). I took breakfast, and since I was running really late, I decided to take a mat to school. So far, nothing unusual. So I found a classmate of mine also waiting for a matatu as well so we chatted away. Punde si punde, matatu ilifika and I spotted that Newspaper in the front seat of the mat and very fast I went to seat there so that I can at least get to read and be informed of what is going on in this our country. All was well, I alighted, paid my fare, went to class, concentrated, asked my share of questions in class and yea, there was nothing unusual. So after class I go to the student's centre and there is where my ipod usually comes in.
I reach into my pocket and I get that sinking feeling. Yes, I know you have got them numerous times. The ipod wasnt there. I dont know why, but for some reason, you find yourself checking deeper into the pocket, as if your pockets have their own pockets, or a secret tunnel. I was surprised not to find it there, but I managed to quell my fears that were rapidly bubbling up consoling myself that it wasnt lost but rather, in my hurry to leave school, I had left it in my room and my day continued as usual (only without my ipod).
Evening came and I went to my room. Kwanza, I went relatively early coz I wanted to practice my guitar (yes, I try to play the guitar). I take out my key, open the door and I find my study table absolutely empty and that is when the fears came rushing back. I threw my bag to my bed (fighting the temptation to use king-sized) and started searching for it. Nothing. Now this is the time you start searching in places you never even knew existed and places that even I found laughing at myself for looking (like my cologne box). Nevertheless, despite my radiant efforts, I yielded nothing and that is when fear turned to despair and frustration. I thought of every place I had been to the whole day but I just couldnt remember where I last had my ipod but I remembered leaving with it from my room. For one reason or the other, I coulldnt remember who I had sat with during breakfast. Then my mind went to the matatu ride I had taken and boy I was finished. I mean, that wasnt my first time to have lost something in a matatu. I was now scared, gutted, frustrated, despaired. I think my face had paled (and the way I am dark. Yes, tall, dark and handsome.....ok ok stop objecting....dark and handsome).
I thought to myself "Surely Apple must have a tracking system of sorts, with all their quality control and the like, they must have one" and very fast, everything else I had planned for the evening was put on hold and online I went and that is when my frustration and emotions that I had kept within me turned to anger. How can a whole company like Apple fail to have a tracking system. I know they are annoying. What with their no sharing of songs, having a camera without a flash nor a zoom, I mean, which camera these days has no zoom? This time however they had gone too far. Yaani Apple do not have a tracking device. I was so pissed and at the same time so so disheartened. The only thing(s) I could think of was turning to God and I remember asking God to show his face and power. That whoever had that ipod could just get touched and return it. I tell you the praying I did was immense. That was when my faith was tested. I mean how many people who lose their things get them back? But I still prayed and I went to bed.
This morning I woke up with the hope of hearing it ring but 7 am came and went and then I heard it. I could swear I heard it but it was only my mind playing tricks on me. I prepared myself and went to school. That first class I can't say that I concentrated. My mind kept going back to that ipod and how I was going to inform my parents that I had lost my ipod. I still kept on praying silently for the return of my ipod. Then after class this classmate of mine comes and asks me. "Kalya nisaidie na ipod yako" And am like "eeeh sina". She then goes ahead and rummages through her handbag (these ladies handbags these days. The could be carrying children for all we know!) as she says "Utawacha kua careless" as she removes the *drumroll* ipod. I swear this song went through my mind
However, in spite of all the pain and emotional distress I went through, I learnt a very valuable lesson. If just an ipod, a material thing can shake me to the very core of my emotions when I lose it or misplace it, how much more pain and torture and despair will I feel when the people I love are taken away from me? And will people feel despair when I am taken away from them? In that light, we should not take the ones who love us and the ones we love for granted. Love them with your all and give them your all lest the Lord decides to take them away from you.Fight for that love. Listen to this song
Even I am surprised by my level of deepness or is it depth
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