Don't Give Up On Love

Excitement, excitement, excitement! Guys, I have only one more month to go before I am done with campus life. Actually, it’s less than a month. 22 days to be excited. If you thought that countdowns ended with the Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education, you could not be more wrong! I am nearly done with the 8-4-4 system and finally get to go to the “World out there.” This world that we have been told about ever since pre-school. “When you get to the world out there….” We go to the “World out there” only to discover that there is yet another world out there once we are done with the “World out there” that we have just joined. I don’t know whether this will be the last “World out there” that I will be joining, but I am not afraid. Jesus has brought me this far and he will still keep taking me to where he wants me to go. The only downer to me finishing campus at the end of November is that I will have to wait 7 months to graduate. Why does Strathmore have only one graduation ceremony per year? They should style up in that regard. Anyway, I think I will use the time before graduation to “find myself.” That seems to be the in thing for most graduates these days. They want to do the thing that will make them happy, find their passion and since I want to be one of the cool guys, I wanna be “that guy!” so I guess I’ll go ahead and “Find myself.” However, my phone line will be open just in case any one of you employers reading this blog is impressed by me. My CV is very ready sir (or madam) you could show your interest as a comment right at the end of this blog post or through email, I really don’t mind whatever means that you use. Whatever you find comfortable is good with me.

Anyway, enough with my job seeking even before I’m done with my final exams, there is something that I felt I should comment about or rather, voice my opinion about. It is with deep concern that I notice the increasing amount of “I am not going to bother myself” when it comes to relationships. Especially for guys my age ie my peers. By peers I mean university going students and above. High school students and below please focus on your books, now is not the time to be chasing skirts. For the girls, these boys will always be there! Don’t get deceived by their letters and dedix (lol, who remembers writing “dedix” while writing letters to girls in high school? *sigh* good times) As a matter of fact, you will find even better boys once you get to the “World out there.” They will be so many you will have difficulty choosing them. (I sound sooo old giving out that advice hehehe). Aaaanywho, I was saying, the number of “I don’t care” and “I won’t bother myself” that I hear my peers saying is of concern to me.

Personally, I am a believer in fighting for what you want. Relationships, I believe, fall under what I want. I mean, that is the girl I want or that is the guy I want and that is why I am going out with him/her. For that reason, I believe that we should fight for what we want. Sure, relationships are not meant to be cast in stone, as long as you are not married, there is always the option of breaking up. However, some of the reasons I hear for breaking up are just so lame to say the least. Just because he did not call you before he slept last night does not mean he doesn’t love you. I mean, the guy was tired for goodness sake and he just dozed off only to wake up to a dozen texts of “Why haven’t you called me babe?” to “Babe are you ignoring me?” to “This is not fair at all! How can you just leave me here all night without calling me? Are you with someone else?” which evolves to “You don’t love me anymore. I know it! All this while I have been having my doubts but today you have confirmed it! I thought you were different, I thought you were better than all the other guys out there but No! you are all the same! You are a loser just like everyone else! And I know you’re with Shaquina! Why don’t you love me anymore?” which leads to the final text   “You know what? I can’t take this anymore! I have a life! You are not the only guy who’s been wanting to go out with me. There are so many other guys who have been waiting in line and since you have decided that you are going to have this new attitude, you are not going to reply to my texts or return my calls, I have some news for you mister! It is over! O-V-E-R! We are done! I don’t want to ever talk to you again loser!”

She then goes ahead and switches off her phone. Now, imagine the guy’s shock and confusion when he wakes up. I know it’s sad but I can’t help laughing as I picture that scenario. Man the guy would be flabbergasted. He was just tired from a long day at work, trying to make a living and this is what hard work cost him. I know some of you think that that is too dramatic but imagine it happens. I can bet a few of you have broken up in such circumstances so I don’t think that that story is too far-fetched.

Now to the guy, as the guy, I believe it is natural for you to be pissed off and to end up just breaking up. You would try calling her but finding her number busy or “mteja” would make you mad as hell. You try calling her friends but apparently she does not want to talk to you. You try going to where she is and you find her all cozy with another man and that is the last straw! You fume, you vent out, say expletives, insult her and her mother and break up “If that is what you want, we are done!” you say and storm off.

Here’s the thing though, as a guy, you are the one responsible for the relationship. You are the leader. Well, I do agree, such actions warrant you to be mad but that is a test of your character. Do not fly off the handle. Yes she is cozy with another guy (and by cozy I mean they are just chilling, making jokes and watching a movie maybe. Nothing bad as such, no making out and the like. Furthermore, that guys is usually a pal of hers that you know of) but in that situation, she wants you to fight for her, for you to exert your authority and show her that you still want her. Kindly but firmly ask her to talk. Don’t shout, just ask. Or you could ask the guy to give you guys some privacy so you can talk. Do everything within your power to get her to talk without getting mad. Tell her whether you want to break up or not. If you don’t want the break up then tell her! She may still be mad and insist on a break-up so give her some time. Give her a period of time to think and once she is cool and believes she can talk you guys talk and decide the way forward. That way, even if you guys break-up, at that time both of you will be clear headed and a rational decision will be made.

To the ladies, don’t be too dramatic guys. Yes you can feel bad, it happens but man! Don’t be that dramatic. You need to get your drama down and listen to the dude. Everything else is just being silly and messing stuff up. Don’t make decisions using your emotions. Also, don’t listen to your girlfriends too much! Their advice is not better that your decision when you are clear headed (I know I touched a nerve there but so be it). Bottom line, know that the relationship is between the two of you and it should remain that way, woe unto you when you listen to your girlfriend and find her going out with your man. These things happen. If you want the relationship, fight for it! That is all. Don’t break up coz of silly reasons. I leave you with 1^st Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres.

Oh and congratulations to my girlfriend, The Miss Tourism Kenya- Baringo County. Yes she won! To the guys, I shall be receiving fist bumps around Madaraka area. Just hala when around and my advice to you guys, panda mbegu ya 310 na pia wewe utapata kuonekaniwa na model. Peace I’m out