These Dressing Sheenanigans: My two cents

So this has been an eventful week, mainly spent attempting to study for my finals. You see, by finals, I mean like my final exams in undergrad. Like the last one totally. I am finishing campus you know, it is going finito, kaput! Exciting times I tell you. Anyway, before you go ahead and start questioning me why I am not studying for my exams which are starting tomorrow by the way, l felt like I had to give my two cents on this dressing matter that has been a cause of debate in this beautiful nation of ours this past week. In fact, I think I will just go ahead and call it a topic of national dialogue. Who knew that we would finally have a national dialogue? Only that it is not between Jubilee and CORD so all ye political sycophants reading this, keep calm. Don’t get too excited, we are just talking about dressing that’s all.

So apparently this week, there was an unfortunate lady who got “disciplined” by Embassava touts in Nairobi for indecent dressing. Well, all the rational people out here do see why I have put disciplined in quotes. So the discipline that this woman received was to be stripped of her clothes. If you haven’t seen the video, you can see it here.

Anyway, it goes without saying that the action caused uproar in social media and our radio stations. Well, I haven’t listened to local radio stations in quite a while (neither have I listened to international radio stations. I just haven’t been listening to radio lately) but from what I have gathered, it has been a topic of discussion in some of our radio stations and on twitter, there was the hashtag #MyDressMyChoice which I saw plenty of. On Facebook, there were a lot of comments and updates. Of particular note was the page, Kilimani Moms (or something of that sort) who I believe have come out the strongest to condemn that attack. I think it would be fair to call that whole incident an attack, an assault actually. Here is the interesting part, these Kilimani Moms have organized a protest for Monday, 17^th November, 2014 at Uhuru Park from 10 am protesting the attack and also advocating for women to dress however they want. After all, #MyDressMyChoice.

Let us get one thing straight. The attack was wrong! Plain wrong, no debate about it. I had to declare my stand lest some of you accuse me of being wishy washy and beating about the bush. The attack was wrong. No woman deserves to be treated in that manner. Yes, she might have responded rudely when the touts told her (in a manner that I would bet was also rude) to dress decently but despite that she should not have been stripped. That is the worst form of degradation.

Today in church my pastor, one George Murichu, got me thinking. He had a pretty solid argument as to why the touts behaved as they did. While they may claim to have been “disciplining” this lady, these guys were actually acting out of lust. What else could motivate a man to strip a woman of her clothes? Think about it. A man to go out of his way to take clothes off of a woman. There is no way you are going to convince me that that is not because of lusting after that woman. They just found an excuse to be barbaric. Yes, I said it! That was barbaric. While this looked bad, we also saw a milder version of assault or indecency if you would like to call it that not too long ago on Jicho Pevu when the guy Victor Kanyari handled a woman’s breasts before the congregation in the name of “Healing.” That is also lust and indecency just that it has found an “acceptable” way of being done.

All of this is quite troubling. Quite a number of us men have totally lost it morally. All this shows how there is quite an amount of disrespect being shown to women. It is an objectification of women. Many arguments and reasons have been put forth to try and explain this phenomenon. Pornography, especially, has been highlighted. I am not getting into a discussion about porn right now but I think the way guys talk and relate to each other has brought this whole issue. The rising trend of “socialites” isn’t helping either. Go to a corner where guys are standing, seated or whatever they are doing, as long as they are discussing, if they are not discussing about football, most probably they are discussing about women. Either this or their discussion about football is filled with interjections of “Damn! Look at that ass” or “She can gerrit!”whenever a fly chic passes by. These are followed by how many tales of conquests of sleeping around with chics, hiring prostitutes. One shocking thing that I discovered recently is that guys my age (barely in their 20s) do hire prostitutes….frequently! Call me naïve but seriously? I thought prostitutes was a mid-life crisis kind of thing, like seriously. That was so shocking but it goes on to show the level of objectification of women that has taken place.

Men we need to style up though. On a serious note we cannot go about stripping women for dressing indecently. Show some class and self-control. Decorum never hurt anybody my guy. I am not saying that we should not appreciate beauty in women. I, for one, have a pretty damn gorgeous girlfriend and I would not hesitate to appreciate her beauty. I confidently appreciate her beauty (if there is anything like that).  Besides, we are all made fearfully and wonderfully. There is a good thing in every bit of us. We do have women who dress outright indecently. We should tell them when they do dress indecently but once we do, we cannot force people to conform to our ideals and beliefs otherwise we would have had World War 3 by now. Tell her if she is indecent. If she listens, well and good, that is a good woman right there. If she does not, not everyone has to listen to you. Shake your head and move on. If you have to be expressive about it, write a blog my guy, or journal, or go legally hit someone (otherwise known as go play rugby) but do not strip someone’s mother, sister, aunt or friend of her clothes. It is respectful that way. The Bible in Romans 12:10 says

            “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

That is how we should relate. If your younger sister comes to you having a really short mini-skirt, would you strip her of her clothes? Exactly! I would do the same. I would ask her to change. Yes I might scold her for dressing indecently but I would have the courtesy of asking her to change. That is how we should be. Honor one another above yourselves.

To the ladies, c’mon! Don’t be arrogant too. Just because you cannot be stripped does not mean you have to go about dressing however you want. Not everyone is as nice as the guy you have friend-zoned. You will suffer one day. I don’t think wearing a decent skirt causes your knees to itch, if they do please tell me. That is a business opportunity. I would start a skirt company with itch less hems. The marketing line would probably something like “Kalya’s itch less skirts, if they itch they aren’t Kalya’s.” Also, who told you that Embassava touts are on twitter reading your #MyDressMyChoice tweets? Lol. Unless bebapay is connected to twitter, I don’t think that those tweets will change the guy who took part in stripping that lady. To the Kilimani moms, I would not advice you to go for that protest. You are just taking yourselves to the lions' den. Anyway, don't say I didn't war you. So please, let us all cooperate. My fellow gentlemen, let us behave ourselves, ladies, behave yourselves too.

Now that I have let that off my chest, I better get some rest and wake up early tomorrow to do some last minute reading for my exams, you know, the whole, I read towards the last minutes coz I will be older, hence wiser mantra hehe. Wish me success.