Well, it’s been
quite a while since I last blogged. Nearly two months to be precise and the way
I started on fire. I mean 3 posts within a week, that is nothing other than
fire. I was so on fire till one of my friends and fellow blogger, Ivy, asked me
“What is your muse?” I so hope that is the spelling of muse Ivy. I still don’t have
the right idea what a muse is but I guess I will google it (but then again, I
will get the correct result only if the spelling is correct. Aaaaah, light bulb
moment. I will google “ How do you spell muse? The one associated with writers
that is. Muse or moose?” that should work) and of course given that I didn’t know
(and still don’t) what muse meant, I didn’t give a conclusive answer. Anyway,
you guyz might be wondering whether that was just starters psyche which would
eventually end, well I got some news for you. It wasn’t. There are many things
that contributed to my looong silence. It was actually more like a self-imposed
exile in the world of books as I was preparing for my end-year examinations. Yes
I am now done with second year of university and the first three days of
my 4-month holiday have gone pretty
well. So far I am enjoying my holiday. Also, there was the small factor of my
bundles running out and with my budget ya sufferer, I had to survive without
it.
Anyway, doing
away with the pleasantries, lets get down to today’s post. Today’s youth and
sex. Well I was reading yesterday’s Crazy Monday and its feature story was (and
still is), ‘ Reckless and restless: Daredevils risking HIV infection because it
is ‘sweeter’ without protection’. This title is just a reflection about today’s
society. Ok not really today’s society coz it has been there since the days of
our parents and grandparents only that it was less publicized then. It only
made the village news and gossip but today there is nationwide coverage. Well,
sex is something that is there and has been. Whereas the Bible clearly says
that sex is meant for marriage, sex is something that is everywhere these days
and apparently everyone is doing it. These days getting a 20-year old virgin is
very rare almost unheard of. Well some of them aren’t virgins because of
unfortunate circumstances such as rape which is very sad but the vast majority aren’t
virgins by choice. They had sex not by accident and continue doing so without
any worries nor qualms. Well most people have several reasons for having sex or
as Sheldon aptly puts it “Engaging in coitus” and some of these reasons include
“Oh I love him and it is the show of our love” and “Its soooo good I cant stay
without it” and there those of “Everyone’s doing it so why not?” and there are
those who say “It just happens. One minute we were just kissing and the next
thing we knew it happened” well you it just happens and it will always keep on
happening.
Its not that I
have anything against chics or guyz who aren’t virgins. No I haven’t got
anything against them at all at all but I do believe that sex before marriage
is wrong and it hurts me or disturbs me when guys are having intercourse all
over and do not have a problem with it at all. If a person has had sex a
million times but then realizes that it shouldn’t be the case and stops, that
is well and good. I would like everyone to do that because there is something
known as secondary virginity. Also, lets get something straight here. I am not condemning
anyone because I know what happens in these moments of passion coz I am a
normal guy. What I am saying is, lets have some restraint guyz and just wait
till marriage. I know its hard but it is very possible.
Today I am just
writing my thoughts as they come. They aren’t coherent as such but anyway,
lemme just continue writing what I have in mind. I have been arguing with guya
left right and centre over whether guyz should have sex before marriage and it
is not surprising that a lot, and I mean a lot of guyz believe that sex is not
wrong. Many guyz believe that sex is perfectly fine and a good argument I was
given was: Why did God give us these feelings then if we are not to use them until
marriage. If God wanted us to not have sex till marriage He should have given
us these feelings once we marry.” That was a strong point that I wasn’t really
able to answer well at that time and maybe I also cannot answer it very well
right now but one thing I know is that God is a God of choices. He has given us
the free-will do do what we want, and he has also given us a conscience and
self-control and He knows that with our self-control, we can resist these
feelings and hold on tight till marriage.
So lemme get on
to why I believe it is wrong to have sex before marriage. Being a Christian, I
of kos must start from the good book. The Holy Bible. I know many guyz think “Aaaarg
the Bible is just there to kazia us. I have a right to do as I want and when I
want” which is true. We have a right to do what we want and these point will go
out mainly to Christians who are reading this post. The Bible is against sexual
immorality and fornication which is sex before marriage as it has greatly
condemned sexual immorality as can be seen in 1st Corinthians 6:9-10
Do
you know that the unjust will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: no
sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes,
homosexuals, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, revilers or swindlers
will inherit God’s kingdom.
Well there you
have it. I have underlined sexually immoral coz that’s what I am talking about,
and also drunkards coz it’s something I have also been involved in arguments
about alcohol but that will be a post for another day. But there those of you
who are already in it and kind of saying now its all gone but its not. Verse 11
says:
Some
of you were like this; but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were
justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the spirit of our God.
So it is
possible to get out of it. I know guyz who have got out of it and I greatly
respect them. They also happen to be my closest friends some of them.
I am not done
trying to convince you that sexual immorality is wrong. 1st
Corinthians 6:18-20 says:
Flee
from sexual immorality! “Every sin a person can commit is outside the body”,
but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. Do you know
that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have
from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price, therefore glorify
God in your body.
I know it seems
hard. I know this coz even for me it is hard to leave these things coz it is
good but I got to do what is right and set your mind to it. I know that it is
our body and we have a right to do what we want but think of this. 1st
Corinthians 10:23:
“Everything
is permissible” but not everything is helpful, “Everything is permissible” but
not everything builds up.
That was just my
argument from a Biblical perspective. Now for those of you who want me to get
real and get to things as they are in life. Ok then let me explain to you why
sex before marriage is wrong. My argument may not make sex before marriage
wrong but is should discourage people, especially chics from having sex before
marriage.
The other day I
was chatting with a friend of mine and I asked him whether he would go out with
a chic who is not a virgin and he said a big NO! no matter how far the
relationship is, if the chic is not a virgin then he cant go out with her. Mark
you, this guy isn’t a virgin himself. He has banged chics and I don’t think he
has any intention of stopping (don’t think that I support his actions and he
knows that) and I asked him the reason for his stand. He told me that chics
have a tendency of going back to whoever broke their virginity which I agree
with. There is something about the guy who breaks a chic’s virginity and he didn’t
want that to happen. However, there is another reason for that. Disclaimer:
this wasn’t his reason but this is my reasoning. Guyz are conquerors. We like
achieving things and expanding our territory. We want to go to unchartered
waters and lands and set-up our flag there and this is why many guyz look for
virgins and this explains why a chic who has slept with many guyz is branded a
slut while a guy who has slept with many chics is a hero and a ‘conqueror’ and
guyz are pretty cunning. They may pretend to really love you, lavish you with
gifts and treats and you there as a chic going “Awwwww, he really loves me” and
you are ready to give him your dignity. Ladies, your vagina is your bargaining
power if I may say. It is the ultimate gift and guyz think like investors of
sorts. Investors spend on stocks and put in a lot of money in then knowing that
in the long run, I will get a return. So for guyz it is the same. He will treat
you and ‘invest’ in you and make you feel “aaaah. This I love. He can have me
whole” well the guy will be cha-ching! Time to reap his returns, and he will
have sex with you. Well at that moment, he will have had wat he wanted and you,
the chic will not have anything now and
with that most guyz fold and disappear into thin air. Before long they want new
adventure and break-off the relationship leaving u despondent. So ladies don’t give
out your dignity till marriage. If he is the one, he will remain with you the
whole time trust me, but if he pressures you into giving him “some good loving”
don’t do it. Tell him to wait coz if you give him, what will stop him from
leaving? He will have had the ultimate goal and if that’s all he wanted he will
go but if he wants you for you, he will stay and be patient.
Another thing. Guys
lose respect for chics who are easy to bang. Yes I said it. Once you give in to
a guyz demands he loses some level of respect for you. This is very evident. My
classmates, especially those who I was with in high school greatly respect
those chics who are upright and not loose. You shud hear the terms used to
describe some chics who are easy to bang. Even those who only have sex with
their boyfriends only. And there are those chics who have ‘standards’. They
only have sex with their boyfriends. Well, good thought but then when you two
break-up and you have a new boyfriend who you have sex with, and then you
break-up then another and another and another, what is there to stop you from
being called a slut, after all “umepitiwa na wengi” so its better to refrain
till marriage so that u will marry the right guy and you will still have your
dignity intact.
Other than that,
from those I have talked to, in as much as sex is good, as soon as it is over,
you feel guilty and bad. A good number of chics hate themselves after having
sex and that’s when you try washing yourself out. You have lost respect for yourself
and that guy has lost respect for you and as a result you are the ultimate
loser. Ask yourself. Is it really necessary to hate yourself for days on end
and feel bad about yourself and not have your dignity all for 3 minutes of
pleasure? Yes its 3 minutes of pleasure, don’t tell me ati the whole night. Studies
show that an average guy orgasms between 3-5 minutes while for a chic is takes
12-15 minutes to orgasm. So here you are, hating yourself for weeks, months,
even years for 3 minutes if pleasure, which was more effective for the guy coz
he reached his climax and left you there halfway and he turned and slept ama
left (yes, most guyz lose interest after orgasm). Is it really worth it? So its
better to wait till marriage.
Ok my last
point. This also comes with some personal experience. Guyz are guyz with egos
and as I said earlier, we are conquerors. Guyz do not want or do not like
things that have already been conquered. And this goes to chics who aren’t conquerors.
It hurts a guy who likes you, like really really likes you to think of you with
someone else. Yea u may think he’s good with it but he doesn’t like it at all.
Its like he has been beaten to something he wanted. Lets give an example of the
last fashionable sweater in a shop and some chic beats you to it. You get that
bad feeling in your throat and you feel like grabbing that sweater from the
chic. Well this is the feeling that most guyz get when they imagine you with
someone else, when they think of that someone else breaking your virginity,
they know its something they have failed to do. You are already the prize
winnings of another guy. You are conquered land. While some guyz could live
with that most guyz cannot take it and will rather have the satisfaction of
having a chic who they have conquered and that explains why my friend wont go
out with a chic who aint a virgin despite he not being a virgin and why a good
number of chics have had to settle with the second best just coz the best guy couldn’t
stand imagining that he is with someone who has already been conquered.
Therefore, with
that, I conclude my argument on why it is wrong to have sex before marriage and
why people should not have sex before marriage. I know its hard but we should struggle to avoid it. Wa! Its been a long post. Even I
didn’t imagine it could be this long. I hope I have convinced you If I haven’t,
I will continue doing so. For feedback you can comment or send an email to
Kalyadaniel@gmail.com
